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My brain is too loud

MarahIdellCatLuvr
MarahIdellCatLuvr

I’m not okay. Constantly thinking of my past, projecting it on others who just walk by, thinking it’s completely normal and everyone experiences what I experienced, being terrified that my kids will.....I can’t relate to others. I don’t have conversations. I feel like the only thing I can do right is Mom. I told my family I’m keeping the kids at the hotel tomorrow. We will have some pool time and normal play time activities (a reason we brought many toys) because I don’t want them exhausted for the 8hr drive home omg friday. They’re respectful but my Dad seems disappointed. I’m okay with that. I’m good at Momming. Definitely not the best but I can handle Momming.


Things will be changing and I’m experiencing a lot of panic, disbelief, regret, fear, and a severe disconnect from certain realities. 


Things feel crazy. 


I need my brain to turn off. 


Journaling didn’t seem to help much. 

Everlasting.Love.
Everlasting.Love.
i know your struggling. it get tough sometimes believe me. well I may be to young to understand your situation but i can its. just something that comes with all my mental illness an abillity. you are stronger than you can even Imagine. have faith in yourself. you are the strong and amazing superhero. your family loves you. i hope they know how you try to be the best you can be.
Beatha
Beatha
I hear you... Unfortunately, I haven't found the "pause" button on the brain yet, else I'd tell you where it is.

Not sure, but it sounds to me that your feeling of disconnect, difficulties having conversations and relating to others are a stress reaction. Upcoming changes can be frightening, stressful and exhausting. I wish I had a magic pill that makes it all disappear... I hope you can be gentle with yourself.

I don't have children, but in my opinion being Mommy is one of the most important works in this world. Hugs!
MarahIdellCatLuvr
MarahIdellCatLuvr
Yes, most important and the only thing keeping me alive
SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK
Mara, every feeling that you have is very valid as you face some huge challenges. The brain gets on overload with all the decisions, and the how will I do ____, what if I do this_____, what if...…..? Just continue putting one foot in front of the other, gathering the information you need, trusting that it will all work best for you and the little ones. No important decision needs to be made today. Showers of calming hugs.