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Mother again

dsf95
dsf95

Mom and brother insisted I go with them to a German restaurant Tuesday; they had a coupon and would pay for my lunch.mother is online dating in her 60s. So frustrating to spend time with her. She discussed details of her date en route. which made me uncomfortable, and will bring up my uncle's abuse of us without warning. She insists men are vile creatures only after sex, but everything she says seems drenched in filth. My concerns about my brother and her living together in some kind of inappropriate way seemed validated when I noticed her hand touching his thigh while driving.


Realized she always was charismatic when she was interacting at the store. People really like her. She also talked about Elizabeth Barrett Browning and how she had a similar relationship with her father. And it clicked in my head- She really seems to see herself as a special aristocratic princess. And after the store, she needed the car because she HAD to color her hair that day and dropped my brother off for his weekly visit, and she could only get the hair color from Wal-Mart, not the store we were at. And why didn't they take separate cars? And waste gas? Not them. Everything becomes an impossible drama of inconvenience.



Gladdmatt
Gladdmatt
FYI, there's a rumor that Elizabeth Barrett Browning was molested by her father. Even if this didn't happen, he apparently was an awful tyrant. Two old movies were made of "The Barretts of Wimpole Street," they may be on YouTube or available to rent through Amazon. Your instincts appear to be right on target. Given these dysfunctional behaviors, I hope you know there is no "normal" or "good" way to respond to them, other than to wait for them to be over. Hope you're able to have a nice weekend.
Community LeaderLeo
Leo
Im guessing... um... y'know? Go with your gut and like Matt said, just wait for it to be over.
arfie
arfie
It amazes me when people so casually summarize half of the world's population with statements like, "Men are ______" and/or "Women are______." Getting half the world's population into a single statement defies my mathematical/statistical logics, even before we get to trans-gender issues, etc.

Rant over. . .

Detachment is the tool I use most often to help me cope with being around people who are irritating me to psychosis. I am not responsible for what other people think, do or say. Mine is to decide if I want to go along for the ride.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Go with your gut ds. Establish whatever boundaries you need, judging the distance necessary of those boundaries by the tingle in your gut. Detachment, as arfie says, that idea of learning to detach with love.
patti22
patti22
My sympathies.
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