Muji-

Is this person ON the tenure committee AT the college where you teach, and where you're applying for tenure ?

If not, then .... you just have that one well-meaning person's opinion, but it isn't automatically a true fact.

And ... it's a dagger right where you live, so ... if it is NOT correct .... it just shot you full of unnecessary adrenaline, and may be taking you down a -- literally -- dangerous path (seeking meds with serious CKD).

This is a hugely sticky situation. If it does have ANYTHING to do with PTSD, they really can't say, and ... if you ask ... they really can't answer honestly.

I'd still try to get a resource closer TO the actual situation at the actual school ... like ... your union rep.

I would try very hard to put this person's comments out of my mind ... best you can.

Huge hug for you muji and kudos to you for all that you do.... Can you talk with a union rep re this possible stigmatism?... If that's what a forward thinking institution is doing then shame on them... Perhaps your union could address it... You teach Death and Dying for fugg sakes and they have a problem with PTSD...
I ran into this when I worked in Community Health muji... I was on a Mental Health Team however I was off ill for a time due to Bipolar Disorder and they tried to make me jump through hoops to get back to work.. I was furious and wouldn't back down and they did come around... In 2016 a teaching institution should be ashamed of themselves to be part and parcel of stigmatism
I'm hugging you my friend...xo

Muji, Hugs and Prayers...this person wrote letters of recomendation for you, but she has not or is not walking in your shoes. I agree with what has been said here, and the fact that your student reviews were so high they had to nit-pick over a couple that were...maybe a tenth of a point lower than perfect...really!! I am so sorry...I am in the fear zone myself...you are not alone...extreme self care...I am not sure.why she would say that it could not be just unfairness to you but PTSD putting people off...where did that come from?? It is one opinion only and an assumption that is not fair to make, to me. More Hugs, Prayers, Peace that passes all understanding!

When her email made plain to me that I had been in PTSD "relapse" since 2011 due to removing PTSD medication I had after kidney damage, I took action. Immediately I called and emailed my Chair and my Vice President, since the tenure interview today had challenged me to account for what are classic PTSD symptoms.


It's not just that I'm trying to save my tenure case. I just want it on my work record that, since they're recording the symptoms, they should record the probably cause. That way I can get the best health benefits for it, and also I can get an accommodation under the law going forward, even if it is at another job. I want to get reevaluated at West Virginia University, where I see my kidney doctor, for PTSD. The kidney doctor who took me off of PTSD meds was local. I'll bet a WVU doctor could prescribe me medication and protect my kidneys in consultation with my WVU kidney doctor.

Once I decided to "come out" to my workplace about it, I didn't feel isolated and endangered by this any more. I know it's a big step, but I've had this since 1995 and taken all kinds of other steps but this one before. Again, since the symptoms were on my tenure record, I want this cause on the record for my own rights, protection, and full use of work health benefits.

I know it may not be what you would do, but trust me, the opposite would be very isolating for me and dangerous. This is the healthy move for me at this point. I wish I'd said it DURING today's tenure committee meeting when members pointed out the negative comments and asked me "what can we do to help you?" Since they asked that point blank, I'm saying this for the record back to them on the same day. Yes, there will be the stigma. But I would rather have the stigma of PTSD explaining those negative student comments than have them be considered a mysterious character flaw, which they are not. I stick up for others who have PTSD, now it's time to stick up for me. It won't be easy. Much support requested.

Dear Muji, Wow. You have been thru a lot lately. Life. You been thru a lot in life lately.
My first response was to say that perhaps there is another path to go down. But when I applied it to myself, if I were in your shoes, I didn't like that response.
So my suggestion is to take it one hour at a time. Take care of yourself. Do what you need to do to stay well. If you need to tell folks something then do it. Whatever you need to do. You need to be your own best friend right now. If that seems hard then put me in your shoes and tell me what I should do. Then you do it.
Much love and hugs to you. Just 19 days to go. One day at a time.

Muji, Deep breaths my friend, slow that brain down. You are triggered and your brain is firing off all over the place. This process ha been extremely stressful and the timing horrible because of the other class.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXxBRhYseNY

Please watch the story you are telling yourself and allowing others to tell you. You will not know if you have tenure or not until the tenure committee contacts you. You and everyone else is just speculating at this point.

I know this is hard, and I do not do this well either, but ask yourself this question, "Will listening to my story and worrying change the outcome of the tenure committees decision on your tenure?" No of course it will not. This is how you can tell you are caught in the story. Winding yourself up, stressing yourself out and triggering yourself.

Time for lots of self-care now. You have done your best, you deserve tenure, but unfortunately all you can do is wait now. So self-care is needed during the wait. Distraction, Opposite action, walking to get that tension out.

Muji, you are my friend, and I am sending your my support so you can get through this. Together with DS folks we will face the good, the bad, and ugly as it comes up. One day at a time, one moment at a time.

(((hugs)))

"Since they asked that point blank, I'm saying this for the record back to them on the same day. Yes, there will be the stigma. But I would rather have the stigma of PTSD explaining those negative student comments than have them be considered a mysterious character flaw, which they are not. I stick up for others who have PTSD, now it's time to stick up for me. It won't be easy. Much support requested."

These are very wise words to live by.

Much puma purr and power to you, Muji, sorry I wasn't on this last night. I agree with your plan of action, and that you need to present it to the tenure committee, make it plain that you can't simply "pop a pill" or (in your area) drop by a therapist as needed, etc.. I'm far too familiar with a lack of PTSD resources (ironic, given my state is full of veterans, military installations, etc.). Praying for you:-)

BTW, if they do cite PTSD, the American with Disabilities Act should cover you, and I think it'd be great to get re-eval'd etc. Good docs can happen in small towns and obscure places, but second and third opinions at teaching hospitals are good options:-)

Hey Muji

Huge support to you. I had a brain fart, visit your family doctor and tell him you need stress leave. Your family doctor can protect you in case they try to fire you. Sound like discrimination for sure due to your PTSD. People in the work force have depression, bipolar and they can't get let go for that. MD's carry a lot of weight if things at work go south.

Just for insurance in case you need medical backup due to all the work stress affecting your PTSD

so sorry for all this stress you are going through.

I'm supporting you in your decisions muji.... I just don't want you to go through nonsense due to ignorance... Big squishy hug...xo

Sorry you have to go through this. I've been there myself. I lost my wings...permanently...as a pilot. I can't even fly solo or as co-pilot anymore. Your best bet would be to get re-evaluated by specialists to see if you can get some of your PTSD meds back online and see if they would back you up saying you can work should the worst case scenario play out. The Disabilities Act covers a lot of ground but not everything as was my case.