As I continue the effort to calm my chattering mind, I received a potent reminder from today's reading in "Courage to Change"

"As we let go of obsession, worry, and focusing on everyone but ourselves, many of us were bewildered by the increasing calmness of our minds. We knew how to live in a state of crisis, but it often took a bit of adjustment to become comfortable with stillness. The price of serenity was the quieting of the constant mental chatter that had taken up so much time; suddenly we had lots of time on our hands and we wondered how to fill it."

The very first time I accomplished a brief moment of stillness in my mind (late '90s), it plunged me into a panic attack. I was convinced I had suffered a stroke. With the calming of that panic and much help from my support network, I began to gain my first understanding of what so many had tried to tell me. I was a Chaos Junkie.

Once a junkie, always a junkie. I gently add on a reminder of the 3 C's. I didn't Cause it, I can't Control it and I can't Cure it. The heightened feelings of isolation since the end of Grandfest followed by my sister's hospitalization have revived the old habit. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Thank you for letting me gain the reinforcement of posting it.

Reality checks welcome.