Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Last night my mom calls (I am glad she told me all this dont get me wrong but it really has me upset but i NEED to know if my safety could be at risk) and says my brothers been talking to our sperm donor....... Right there im like WTF???? WHY???? Why the HELL is he talking to the man who f***ing raped his little sister from 4 to 10 years old and thats only what i remember could of started earlier?????? He has a 10 year old son isnt he worried about him???? Okay so i had to calm myself down. Then my mom said and he wants your info. WTF!!!!! I cut all ties 3 years ago THIS MONTH!!!! He was told by the abuse center to NOT contact me at all or we would get the cops involved and a Restraining order in place! Well he hasent contacted me himself so far. My brother swears up and down to my mom he gave him NO info on me and said he never talks to me or sees me and has no info on me. I do see my brother on occasion at my parents house now and my dad is the man who raised and adopted me so please NOONE refer to him as my dad not even biological hes sperm donor only that im refering to in here, dad is the man who never hurt me in any way! Then mom tells me how he (sperm donor) is now wheel chair bound and health is failing bad, and he wants contact with his daughter before its too late. HIS DAUGHTER????????????? F*** NO IM NOT HIS DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!! Not only did he rape me abuse me in other ways etc but he tried to kill my mom in front of us when i was FOUR and my brother SEVEN!!!! PLUS when i was 13 my dad asked to adopt us he wanted me to be old enough to understand and want it for myself and not just please him and when they asked him to sign off all rights to us his only questions without any hesitation were will you write off all the back child support (he owed 9 years worth on 2 kids) and where do i sign. IM NOT HIS DAUGHTER!!!!!!!! I want nothing to do with him! Then my mom says im so glad you dont have contact with him i wish your brother didnt either hes nothing but bad news. Yes yes i know!!!!! He abused all of us i believe! I HATE HATE HATE HATE him!!!!!!!! I thought i was over him and no longer afraid of him my therapist thought we didnt need to work on him im starting to believe my mind was playing a game on me that yes i am very very very very much afraid still!!!!!! And i looked up my name online, it gives my name phone number address and email YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He can f***ing find me if he wants!!!! That should be illegal * cries* Okay yes yes i need my thearpy i have today at noon big time!!!!!!!!!
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Got a 20% chance of rain forecast yesterday. Got hit by a t-storm that almost knocked out more tree.This is why I watch animals and not a weather channel.Feeling too worn out to do much today, sorry.
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Hiya My internet is changing today and I'm not sure how long the switch over will take, I'm hoping 24 hours at the most, but I'm probably being too optimistic We are changing to another company and going full fibre for the internet. But at least it's changing to the one payment rather than the payment for the home landline phone and a payment for the internet. So I'm not going to be on here...
Thanks Leo
First thing my therapist did was get me calmed down a bit she said shed NEVER seen me SO freaked out and panicky and she said if i was that bad AFTER working out for an hour in PT and i did a lot in PT then how bad was i before? She said she cant work thru things with me till we get me calmed down so worked on breathing exercises to get me more into wise mind. Had to get me calmed down before able to do anything at all. She said when someone is too anxious and in irrational emotional mind you cant help them at that point. She said also USE MY KLONOPIN. i tend not too.
I told my Therapist (love her to death shes the best i have EVER had! ) that i am about to burn out i never get to stay home rest and do nothing she said no your not about to burn out you ARE burnt out. I am banned to stay home tomorrow and orders to tell everyone NO if they want me to go anywhere. Still very anxious and panicky but not as freaked out i have a plan.
Yes i have a very awesome therapist! I ended up sleeping from 11 until 930 am i NEVER sleep past 6 at the most! I never get to sleep that early either i was exhausted, according to my smart watch i only woke up once. I dont know when i last did that. I am having nightmares last 2 nights even with the prazosin my therapist said to keep tabs on that because im on 8 mg but it can be upped thru my shrink if needed my blood pressures still going slightly high at times.