It sounds like the problem is them, not you. The usual pattern with those types is fight, make up; shifting loyalties in a never-ending drama. It sounds like you dont know how to play rhose games. It sounds like those folks don't have a lot of boundaries and unnerved by someone who has. I say move on with relief - that is not the place for you.

Im sorry looney. Moving would definitely be good. I’m glad that you have your dog with you.
Sending you support &
(((((Healing hugs)))))

I didn't read anything you did wrong other than where your body was, and so that was merely an error. What's really difficult, dear, is if you couldn't move away! I've been in terrible situations where I couldn't move away! If you can move away from the environment you just wrote about, you can find another garden for gardening! You can find people who like gardening, too! You shared about a lot (a lot) of different interactions, guys, gals, manager, another guy, another gal, et cetera, which is a big positive because others are not so close to having good relationships. You're very close to having good relationships! You're very close to having good relationships, because of the mere number (quantity) of interactions you mentioned above! Not joking. At the quantity of interactions, finding one decent lunch friend or gardening friend will feel really good to you, someone for whom you can bring a cupcake or something once in a while. Don't feel bad if the cupcake or slice of pie isn't received as well as you'd like, because they'll miss the pastry later when you're not around, especially if you change the flavors. Maybe small cups of yogurt. You could see about assisting at a garden/nursery for little soon-to-be-planted flowers, or at convalescent homes who could use a few border flowers planted for borders along the walkways (maybe you volunteer to do so for a weekend, I'm telling you, can you imagine what you'll feel a few weeks later knowing they're growing/flowering? Don't feel bad if a year later someone springboards from your idea and re-plants more flowers, just flower a few places (example of an idea you liked)).

Keep posting, okay? I don't think you knew what you know now about how close you are to finding one emotionally encouraging friend, then two, then three because of birthdays. Try being inclusive. Pick someone and include them in a small two-hour or so idea. Then you can include them once next week also, or include someone different and come back to the first the next week. I have to make new friends because of my particular life problems (and even more difficult hundreds of miles away from what feels like home), but I intend creating the friendships exactly the same way, including someone in a small plan, and then include someone else in a small plan the next week, and so on, because that's how friends are made, including them in an idea. Pick them on a stroll, maybe, for who will enjoy your offer for planting a few flowers, as example. Don't feel rejected, though, because the flowers are the goal, for example. If you plant flowers at three or four places, at least one will re-do your work because they loved your idea.

Big hug for you looney..... I'm sorry you're going through this..... Unfortunately this is often the case where addiction is concerned

You'll run into addictive behaviour

It may be best for you to go where you'll be safer?..... or look outside the park for your friendships.... Maybe a coffee shop or church..... There may be MeetUp's in the area

You can say hi how are you without hanging out with people who are high or drunk

If someone wants to argue you can state that I'm going in now and I not going to fight or argue with you

Substances can change the way people act and I wouldn't want to be around it either..... Big squishy hug.....xo

Loo, I've found in my financial ups and downs that it was a lot easier to establish boundaries when I was a university professor with a condo on a golf course than in was years later after my divorce, PTSD hospitalization, and bankruptcy. In other words, it's hard to establish boundaries without money, without financial resources to back it up. I've seen it both ways, so I can tell you without a doubt that it is NOT YOU. It's your circumstances. I'm so sorry. It's exhausting, I do know. Much support to you, my friend.

Ya loo , sorry this happened but I agree with Donna. You’ are a better quality person and deserve better being surrounded by like minded people. ((Hugs))

My intercontinental frequent flier approach to finding the perfect environment convinced me that there are assholes everywhere and assholes will shit on me if I let them. The rich assholes got correspondingly bigger shit bombs. Some days I wonder if we all (even me?) have assholes and good health demands we use them daily. Damn, it's a shitty world. . . Got fertilizer?

Is it progress that I no longer hate setting boundaries? I still don't like it, but I've accepted the need. I still don't like paying bills or housework, either, but ya gots to do what ya gots to do to live comfortably.

Sounds like the caravan park really NEEDS that community garden. Also sounds like the project needs a spearhead and there might even be one hiding in a half-wrecked trailer. It's spring there, isn't it?

Don't mind me. . . Feeling rambly this morning. . .

Continued support, whichever way you take it.

I had a friend who was sexually abused. We could walk into a bar together. There would always be some guy(s) that would just creep me out. Five minutes later, she'd be talking to him. Happened dozens of times with different bars and different guys. Some of the time she'd go home with him.

I don't think that it was that she didn't have "boundaries", as much as that she had no clue what "normal boundaries" were.

The same was true for me, with "support" situations. I'd give far too much, hoping for love back. And then feel so hurt that I'd given so much, and gotten such little back.

As much as I'd like to blame "them", the issue was within me. I didn't know what normal back and forth looked like. So I didn't leave, when everyone else saw the smoke and was heading for the door.


My best advice? Leave. Get out. Don't look back. You took a chance when the guys talked you into staying. That's okay. Risk is part of life. But it's all turned bad...salvage what you can and go. They can go back to preying on each other.

Oh and be proud of yourself. You did NOT let yourself get ripped off in the name of fitting in. (As I have done in the past...more than once.) That's a boundary...and a good one...that you HAVE.

This T-day. Be thankful for YOU. (And your sweet little puppy too.)

Thanks for all the support and insight. It's so appreciated. It's enabled me to put on my big girl panties and get on with preparing to move. I keep reading your posts again when I need more strength.