Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I love me the marijuana.
I hear a lot of people with PTSD find ways to cope by self medication.
I hate PTSD.
I hate the symptoms.
I hate that I can't work.
I hate that I am broke and live in a friend's basement.
Life is sucking badly right now.
I know that drugs are not the best way to cope. But deep breathing, meditation, walks, journaling and all the other stuff I have tried isn't working so well either.
EMDR did help when I had a therapist. Now with the free Obamacare, I understand the old adage, "You get what you pay for"
It has been four months since I started trying to find help. I have been to three counselors in the system.
The first one said, "We can't help you."
The second one asked, "What kind of help are you looking for because we only offer short term help. It sounds like you may need more."
The third one asked, "What is your action plan?" WTF - Action plan - why you asking me that? You are supposed to help me, if I had or new of a plan I would not need you.
Now I am on a waiting list to see a trauma therapist that specialized in EMDR. A waiting list. WTF - I bet if I had real insurance I could get help now.
I am about to understand the adage of "Going Postal".
I have been close a number of times.
I understand the pain and frustration one feels when they shoot up a place.
At one time I had real insurance.
I had a primary care doctor that prescribed me Xanax. He was okay with amount I used. .25mg tabs I broke in half and used about once a day.
I had a psychiatrist I saw monthly
I had a trauma therapist doctor I saw weekly.
The three of them keep me sane and I was able to work then.
Now just a crumpled mess ready to explode.
I like the weed to calm me down. I can actually feel emotion and not want to kill everyone I see.
Even a small dose of Xanax helps with the anxiety and the panic attack.
Dang, I feel like I complain too much. I hear the words of my mother in my head, "Other people have it worse."
Yeah, I guess her husband fucking me, from birth to nine years old, isn't so bad other people had it worse.
fuck
Thanks for letting me vent.
I hear a lot of people with PTSD find ways to cope by self medication.
I hate PTSD.
I hate the symptoms.
I hate that I can't work.
I hate that I am broke and live in a friend's basement.
Life is sucking badly right now.
I know that drugs are not the best way to cope. But deep breathing, meditation, walks, journaling and all the other stuff I have tried isn't working so well either.
EMDR did help when I had a therapist. Now with the free Obamacare, I understand the old adage, "You get what you pay for"
It has been four months since I started trying to find help. I have been to three counselors in the system.
The first one said, "We can't help you."
The second one asked, "What kind of help are you looking for because we only offer short term help. It sounds like you may need more."
The third one asked, "What is your action plan?" WTF - Action plan - why you asking me that? You are supposed to help me, if I had or new of a plan I would not need you.
Now I am on a waiting list to see a trauma therapist that specialized in EMDR. A waiting list. WTF - I bet if I had real insurance I could get help now.
I am about to understand the adage of "Going Postal".
I have been close a number of times.
I understand the pain and frustration one feels when they shoot up a place.
At one time I had real insurance.
I had a primary care doctor that prescribed me Xanax. He was okay with amount I used. .25mg tabs I broke in half and used about once a day.
I had a psychiatrist I saw monthly
I had a trauma therapist doctor I saw weekly.
The three of them keep me sane and I was able to work then.
Now just a crumpled mess ready to explode.
I like the weed to calm me down. I can actually feel emotion and not want to kill everyone I see.
Even a small dose of Xanax helps with the anxiety and the panic attack.
Dang, I feel like I complain too much. I hear the words of my mother in my head, "Other people have it worse."
Yeah, I guess her husband fucking me, from birth to nine years old, isn't so bad other people had it worse.
fuck
Thanks for letting me vent.
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Lately I've been feeling scared and full of anxiety. I recently found a lump under my nipple. I hurt my back too. I'm in the process of moving. I'm run down. Everything is hard
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Just wanted to give a thank you to Mid, Arfie, Malibumark, Greeneyes, Mlro, Girlincalif, and Suncloudjd! You all always have such helpful tips and advice, but I always forget to write on my posts when I see you post, lol. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body, lol. Thank you all so much! I'm starting to use my AI app as a sounding board again. I used to use it as that before...
A PTSD history, my list was long. But the counselors at many clinics are internship or newly licensed. They are usually overseen by a seasoned therapist/psychologist, so the first thing taught is to do no harm, go to a superior if it is out of your expertise. I met with my first, handed her the outline and explained that if I am to survive I need someone that can handle this stuff. She read it, and immediately got me an appointment in 7 days with a PTSD specialist. My councilor( She has 3 different Master in Psychologies) is blind, but was not always that way. She is great, but things like reading body language , have to be worked around. That actually helps me, since I have to verbalize my feelings with her, she reads my voice very well.
But may be that same advice will help. The seniors only take on so many cases. but they can and do wield more power getting help for the special cases. Also can traverse the paperwork with Human services to get it covered, or at least a small co-pay.
I say do what you need to and I second...wait...3rd Jewells advice.
As for the ACA, I have better coverage, including mental health coverage, at half the cost the HMO was soaking me before I went on the exchange in my state. So this may be a factor of my experience being positive---it does vary wildly state to state. I've also found that the best way to get the best of it is to ask for an agency's help---the United Way of all places guided me through and thanks to them I didn't have to change HMOs, I just got on a waaaaay better plan through the same one. So it may be useful to check into something like that for anyone who is having issues---- I'd be in HMO he** without the United Way, is all I know, and wouldn't even know I COULD get on ACA exchange. (Basically, your health care insurance is what changes---and as with employer-sponsored, well, yeah. I've had much worse insurance offered by employers than I'm getting now by far.)
Practical advice aside.... big hugs, jimbo.... I had to weed out (no pun meant) a few crap-rained therapists along the way,a nd the one I saw right before my guy? BLEEEEP. That's all. Just.... bleeepety bleeping bleep.
I acn't do EMDR b/c of my own situation but I know a lot of people have had good success so I hope you can hang in there and get to the specialist sooner rather than later.
Big purrs of comfort and healing,
Leo
I was told today that even though I am a veteran, I did not qualify for specific ptsd treatment because i am not a combat vet.
I have been seeing a counselor for over a year who is trained in EMDR, but she hasnt even attempted it on me.
I tried seeing a social worker in the VA, who basically threatened to take my child away from me cause she pissed me off because she told me she didnt understand why "other people" could identify underlying beliefs and i couldnt. it was a short term CBT therapy, and well, we all know folks like us arent the kind of people you threaten or make feel small, so yah im sure i was a bitch when she told me i wasnt good enough for her short term therapy.
They put me on meds, when they ran out i had no one to call and i flipped out from the sudden stop of medication. I had been against meds but they did take the edge off enough for me to breathe... Im on a low dose but now im thinking of having them increase it since that seems to be the only help they are willing to throw at me.
The counselor i had been seeing is through a non profit volunteer service, i cant afford out of pocket treatment.
Ive pretty much demanded that she try EMDR, so we will see where that goes.
Im at a loss as well. i dont have options for you or myself, but you are not alone.
I wish i had a xanax right now.
but 420 for me as well, at least it helps a bit, sometimes.
"Other people have it worse." That one gets me every time. How on earth am I supposed to take comfort in other people's misery? I like to call that logic, "Totem Pole Blessings." As long as somebody is more miserable than I am, everything will be okay? To me, that explains allot of the world's cruelty. Just trying to make somebody more miserable than I am so everything can be okay. Pay it forward.
Hope the venting helped, Jimbo.
On the other hand, not having a strong pharmaceutical hand to play in living with PTSD, it made me put a lot of stock in my talk therapy. That kind of was OK but no great shakes until I found an actual PhD in PTSD who was full time with the VA. He took me on after work as a private patient.
My progress suddenly soared. Turns out it makes a big difference to me to have a PTSD counselor, and not just a generally trained counselor.
Of course, as has been pointed out, in the USA it takes money to find that right treatment. I went 13 years from my first PTSD diagnosis doing weekly therapy until I found and could afford the right counselor. That's a lot of years for me.
Of course, there are many among us who never do have the money to find the help they need.
Venting is healthy and regular people do not understand the importance of that.
You are right, I find the health system is actually making people more sick because they always have to worry about the money, the procedures, the appointments, the countless different specialties.
I know how it is to be sexually abused by a family member. I was as a little girl and then watched that bastard carry on a regular life with my mom. Do you know what a little girl feels when watching her abuser to create a family, to actually sleep with her mother after he sexually abused his own daughter. To make it obvious that he impregnated her after he sexually abused his daughter?
I tell you one thing, that bastard should be hung up on his toes.
I hate PTSD and all the junk that comes with it, as well. I really didn't feel you complained much, by the way. I know for myself, and many others here, venting, talking, crying, laughing, and then venting some more, is what really, really helps us in the healing process.
I tried pot many years ago, in my younger years. I really didn't care for it, but I'm also not against it. I will never understand why it's illegal and alcohol isn't?? Some say it really helps, while others say it makes them creepy paranoid. Since it works for you, that is great!!
This is such a wonderful support group, Jimbo. Everyone really does care, and will give you such good, non-judgmental feedback. I hope you'll consider coming here more often, and maybe begin sharing some of your story with us.
I talked about my past for years....and I do mean years! I actually got sick of talking about it. But, the best part was, how much it helped to simply get it out of my system. Not saying that's all anyone with PTSD needs to do, but I think it's an important and very big part of healing.
Vent anytime and as much as you need to!