After she takes Lexi, I'm either going to the hospital or killing myself. I haven't decided yet.

I can't care for her. She'll go with that person and I will get her back when/if I ever can. But I'm going to the hospital tomorrow, and assuming ill ultimately be put in a partial program after hospitalization. Maybe in 6 months I'll feel human again. Because all I feel now is pain and anxiety.

Searcher, you have had such unexpected events going on. You now have this landlord out of your life, which is a good thing though the timing was bad. The hospital will let you get things sorted out, and should be able to help you with resources going forward. Showers of healing hugs and prayers.

Hugs searcher to you Lexi!

Hugs to you Soul Searcher. You are so strong. When you said that he was pounding on your door- it took me right back to some of the scariest times of my life. You are being so strong. I'm so glad you were able to leave. I'm glad you were able to figure out something for Lexi too. You will get her back, you are going to be okay. You are so strong. I'm going to be praying for you. You will get through this. You're so smart, to know you need help and to be reaching out to get it.
I'm so glad you are okay! We all are routing for you! You will win this! You will overcome this! You are a victor! Many blessing to you....

Keep strong and safe, SoulSearcher. You’re doing the right thing for yourself and Lexi in this situation. You have walked away on your own from what was toxic and that takes so much courage. It takes even greater courage and strength to make sure both you & Lexi will be safe right now. We standing with you. I wish you all the best and may you be able to use this time to rest, heal and recover from the pain & hurts you’ve suffered & find the place which is meant for you where you & Lexi can be happy & safe. Hugs.

It sucks to have it come down to this after all, soulsearcher, what a rotten deal. You were really smart to get out in the presence of the cops so it didn't escalate further, with that guy all amped up to break the door down and all. Back in 2009 I moved out of living with a partner I never should have moved in with, and I did the same--I loaded up my car in the presence of the cops so I could get out without more nutty escalating drama. It's a sad picture we've both had in our rear view mirrors, isn't it?

I had a place to go back to, though, but I hadn't learned my lesson yet so I wasted it and lost my condo I owned. I followed my worst PTSD pattern again and I jumped right back into another dumb relationship with another abusive partner that lasted until 2010 without so much drama, but with just as much frustration with myself over not learning until then what you say: never again.

It's been never again for me for 8 years now, and I've finally gotten the peace and quiet in my rental living space, tiny and run down as it is. I'm hoping for the same peace and quiet for you, now, soulsearcher, as you make your way through today's total upheaval for you and Lexi. I can understand why you'd think of the alternatives as killing yourself or hospital. But I went for hospital and here I am still never again, so that option can work, I'm living proof of it still.

Actually, the way I went for the hospital option was that I collapsed and was driven there. I guess collapsing was a stroke of luck for me so I couldn't do anything to hurt myself. Glad you're stronger than I was and can go to the hospital on your own. I really admire you for that.

Never again can come true even now, soulsearcher. It did for me, even in desperation. Much support to you.

She backed out last minute. I can't care for her. I'm surrendering my dog to the no kill shelter.