It does hit in waves, it seems...
Try to get support from other trustable people, work on finding some therapy.
There may be something triggering you to think about him.

Hmmm... seven years. You know your body actually physically regenerates after 7 years? Literally. That's why there's that 7 year itch... Our new body's cells don't recognize the memories.

At least, that's my theory.

I'd do some digging to find out why. Just make sure you have some form of support to help you with any difficult emotions.

Hugs.

Yes, I have experienced a new wave of symptoms every decade. I get over every wave more quickly and better, but I do have to go back to therapy, support group help, meds, the whole array of tools that helped me the first time around.

This happens to me too. I have found for me it means that either a new memory or emotion is surfacing that needs to be processed. That's when my therapist starts asking me lots of questions to get me to remember/feel what it is. Just happened to me this week in fact. It was a memory trying to surface. And when you think about it...it's all very depressing - don't you agree? So it's no wonder we get depressed when something is surfacing.

"Normal"? Eh, it's a myth. Typical? Yeah. I went well over a decade without a single passing suicidal idea, then wham! Had a terrifyingly vivid one last year. It passed.... It's weird, but it's reality.

Just remember you've gone years *YEARS* of feeling better! That means you *can* and *will* get there again---and maybe to help yourself, get into sometherapy, figure out what's triggering this?

Gentle hugs and purrs of support,
Leo

Thanks, everyone! I have a question for you all. Is it possible that my husband is triggering this is he has been distant? We've only been married for 6 months and I think that he is addicted to video games. I feel that we barely have a relationship anymore. It feels like he only comes to me when he wants something, whether it be sex or to talk about work or something. Most of our conversations seem to happen while he's focusing on video games. I feel kind of abandoned. When he does come to me for sex I feel like he is using me. Obviously this is upsetting because I was sexually abused.

I have communicated how I feel about this behavior, but he doesn't do anything about it. It feels like I am not worth the effort to him. Does this sound like it could be a possible trigger? This is the only thing in my life that sounds like it could be a possible trigger.

Sounds like it could be a big big trigger. My hubby and I've had issues b/c of my abandonment issues running into his workaholic issues. We did therapy and we have Marriage for Dummies on the shelf at all times in case one of us wants a refresher...

Also, is this a change from pre-marriage? Were you co-habituating then, or is living together new? I sthere anything triggering *him* that he's avoiding via video games?

Maybe if you make a list of any and all questions, typed out neatly, and ask him to fill it out over a weekend---then don't look at it or think of it till he gives it back and you are in a safe place with friends and/or a therapist.... Sometimes people see it on paper and it really makes things real for them. nd if you state plainly, "This kind of thing triggers me" without staritng any sentence "You do/are", that helps. (I'm quoting Marriage for DUmmies, btw, LOL.)

It's also a good communication technique to keep the tears, body language, and so forth out of the "conversation". (Hubby and I were big on notes and e-mails during bad times.)

Gentle purrs,
Leo

Yes I think that is normal. Do you still use beep breathing and mindfulness everyday? I am a firm believer that I will need to practice what I have learned everyday so when when this returns I will be automatically reach for these tools or perhaps doing them everyday will avoid the problem all together.

We have an illness and think of mindfulness as a medication that helps keep you well.

You could also try graditude; write everyday what you are grateful for. Distraction helps as well as opposite action.

Hang in there I think this will pass. If you are concerned you could always seek out a good councillor.

I recommend arguing via email.
Much better.