What happens if you make yourself go out anyway?

By the way, this kind of supports something I said to you once before, about the loneliness being an emotional memory.

When I go out, most of the time I am fine. I enjoy myself. I know this and use the same logic on myself. Just do it. You will have fun.

I end up so tied up in knots I am back in bed crying.

I've always distinguished between
solitude
loneliness
being alone
isolation

Solitude is sort of that state of being by yourself that feels thoughtful and quiet to me, at least.
Loneliness? Sucks.
Being Alone is just a physical fact of life--- I am currently alone (no one in the house with me)
Isolation---that to me feels like walls going up around me, if htat makes sense.

Maybe today you could've split the difference? Gone to *one* of the two things to socialize. Seen how it felt to do that and if it was too much, then you had no obligation to do the other....

I also don't think feeling lonely should be embarrassing---we all feel that way sometimes, even in a crowd, or in a family, etc.

And I guess... I'd ask what I felt lonely *for*.... Human company? Specific people? A place? A feeling?

I've worked on this one to an extent, and it's rough for me, because isolation was safety but it was also loneliness--- ack!

No idea if that was helpful. Sorry.

I strongly feel that your conflicts are about your inner child's feelings, and when you are able to recognize them and respond to her with understanding, kindness and patience, these traumatic emotional dramas will become much gentler and more nurturing experiences. Right now you are wrestling a terrified child and it's not going well for either of you.

Sending gentle, comforting hugs your way. Please share them with the little one.

I do the same thing....It's become my comfort zone.... Getting out of one's comfort zone takes some discomfort unfortunately

I'm waiting for CBT to start (for a 2nd time) as I've fallen back into isolation...
I think if you're happy being quietly on your own then that's great....If you're not happy with it then there's help for you overcome it however it will take some work and stepping outside of your comfort zone...I think for me at times the worry and thoughts of it are actually worse then the action however it's hard... I believe good support can help a lot

I vacillate like a bad dog over this one. I definitely get loopy over too much isolation, but I get loopy over the social scenes, as well.

I take it one day at a time.

P.S. In Spanish, my name is Guadalupe. Lupe for short...

I too bounce bk and forth between needing alons time and dreading it. I have struggled with shaming myself for staying in when I felt like I should have been up for going out. I'm getting better at listening to what I actually need. Practice self care. That's all I know.
Good luck and keep working at it

You could be developing social anxiety and need treatment for this. There is a support group on here for it.

I don't call it an awful cycle. I know when it's time for me to be alone and become again. Become me again. When I am not, I don't want to talk to or see anybody. When I am me, I am here. I call friends. I accept calls. I accept the affections and sweetness of a male caller. Stay with us. Many of us know many things. You have a family here. Oh, I think I'm male-lke though I'm female. They talk about men going into their cave. I go into my cave. Then I come out;.

I do better if I make myself go out.

I just got back from that Flaming Lips concert, and getting out like that was big for me.

Isolating from what? came to mind for me as to your original post's question I've been isolated from some toxic associations I kept repeating over and over for the last 4 years, so that's how it's been good. It's lonely at times, so that's the cost for me.

I too am fighting isolation. I know from experience that it only gets worse when you do.

Oh my gawd. DS has been having the fits. I hope this posts OK.
Thanks for the replies. I have some things to consider now.
It is good and right to distinguish between loneliness, solitude, isolation and aloneness. There are times I love, love, love my solitude. Those days that are just me, my music and my camera are great. I have few of those times anymore because I think I am getting it mixed up with isolation and making myself feel bad for wanting it.
I am definitely isolating and yes, there is some social anxiety. I think I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder at the same time I was diagnosed with bipolar 2. I still maintain the bipolar 2 is BS. He had only seen me for 45 minutes before popping that diagnosis out. Anyway.pardon my tangent.
When I was much, much younger I had trouble leaving the house at all. Now I am mostly OK for work. On weekends I call it kinda good if I shower and dress. I have food issues so I will usually go out to the store if I need to, though I have been known to eat some odd things food wise because I didnt want to go out.
I just feel so bad that I sit here alone all of the time. I dont want to be here alone. I want to do things but I get so afraid that I stay in and eat which causes even more issues. So, yes Lilly, it is an anxiety thing.
I have had trouble with all the antidepressants they give me diarrhea so bad that I have crapped myself. Needless to say I wont take them anymore. That leaves me without much help in the medication area. I do have Xanax for the nighttime panic attacks if needed but they arent for the GAD.
Milla Sophia (such a pretty name) I admire the simple elegance you have when engaging with yourself. I wish I could just let things flow. I guess my issue is that if let alone I may just never leave my apartment. Literally. It has happened before.

Muji, when I was younger and afraid to leave the house I think I was keeping myself safe from all the unknown, unseen threats that may have been outside my door. Im not sure. No one has ever asked me that before.

So if work is okay... then think of a weekend outing as... Going out and being Fabulous! I mean someone has to be fabulous to set the bar...
Here hoping you set it HIGH!
hugs. we "Fab" ones have to stick together!
J.