I love math. Research and statistics have saved millions of lives.

At the same time, most of the meaning in my life, is from one on one interactions from the people in my life. With a billion people on the Earth, there is no way that I can know them all well. But I can care about the people that I do interact with...even if they don't care about me. That...I have no control over. There are people who have cut me out of their lives for this or that reason. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Maybe to those people, I became a statistic, but they never became one to me.

At the end of the day, it's taken decades, but I've found a way to have peace within myself. And it no longer matters what others think of me.

Peace

Maybe, after we die, but I figure I'll be dead by then, so what do I care? What matters to me, Marah, is to be as individual and unique as possible in life before it comes time to push up daisies.

That's the only control we really have, over the here and now, to live in the present moment without regret for the past and without dread for the future. But with PTSD, that's hard, though, isn't it?

I think existence is even more ephemeral than that.

I can’t cope with this week/weekend. I melted in my therapists office. I live in Fl and here comes a storm..... and soon to be ex is ridiculous right now. About to clock in and I could throw up I’m so anxious. What I meant when I asked this is, do we all just kill ourselves one day? It seems like that’s the way I’ll go. Hopefully not until my babies have babies but today....today every day is hard

It took decades for me to find peace within myself...but it did happen.

Healing hopes, Patti

***I find that my kids need "me" more now than ever. It does change. They're not the cute toddlers anymore, but I'm still rather attached to them, and they to me.***

Peace. For me peace comes and goes. The thing I had to learn about myself was that it comes again, too. And goes. Sort of like the ocean tide. I have to be patient and wait for it. It takes support for me to do that.

Nooo I don't think we all kill ourselves one day... most think about it yes.... but we find strength deep within and move forward. Take one step at a time and breathe and enjoy your loved ones.