Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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I did some more pondering about the great thread here today "social networking DS" and it led me to what makes DS PTSD so important to me.
One thing that I appreciate about being here is the BROAD RANGE of our socializing here. I call it a range that goes from "intimacy," our deepest feelings, all the way to "ultimacy," by which I mean our biggest life and death concerns.
I don't often find people who can handle both like people here can. I know somehow it comes from our shared situation of having survived a broader range of life and death experiences than most.
I really value that I can come here and post about intimate things on one thread, ultimate things on another, and even be silly--all in the same visit here to DS PTSD. It means a lot to me.
I've often found intimacy, discussions of ultimate questions, or silliness in conversations out in the world, but rarely a place for all three at once. Sometimes when I've tried for 2 or more with some people I've really gotten shot down, as if something were wrong with me. But I don't necessarily think so, and being here makes me more convinced.
Has anyone else ever found out there in society in general that some people can talk about intimacy but nothing else? Or ultimate questions, but not their intimate feelings? Or they can just be silly, but never talk about intimate feelings or ultimate issues?
One thing that I appreciate about being here is the BROAD RANGE of our socializing here. I call it a range that goes from "intimacy," our deepest feelings, all the way to "ultimacy," by which I mean our biggest life and death concerns.
I don't often find people who can handle both like people here can. I know somehow it comes from our shared situation of having survived a broader range of life and death experiences than most.
I really value that I can come here and post about intimate things on one thread, ultimate things on another, and even be silly--all in the same visit here to DS PTSD. It means a lot to me.
I've often found intimacy, discussions of ultimate questions, or silliness in conversations out in the world, but rarely a place for all three at once. Sometimes when I've tried for 2 or more with some people I've really gotten shot down, as if something were wrong with me. But I don't necessarily think so, and being here makes me more convinced.
Has anyone else ever found out there in society in general that some people can talk about intimacy but nothing else? Or ultimate questions, but not their intimate feelings? Or they can just be silly, but never talk about intimate feelings or ultimate issues?
But here? I agree with you.
I am going to say no, I have not found out there in society where people can hit three, maybe even two if I am lucky. I am going to further expand on the intimacy level of things.
My first try at an intimate in-person relationship with a 'boy' ended in total failure, shame and fear. I found I could not talk to him about my problems, he did not understand my personality and did not want to hear about my past. Now, he is a piece of work and I consider a complete sociopath and me being completely naive, but I do feel it would be hard to be in a relationship with anyone 'normal'. Not only because of their misunderstanding (or) lean to one or two types of conversation, but also but also my fear of being so uncomfortable and not worthy or having the feelings of being different.
I find this true with old and new friendships as well. My ex husband had issues with intimate conversation. He was the always silly or ultimate. I have gone to social events where I say one little thing off and things go haywire.
I completely get what you are saying. It does mean very much to me I can come here. Members may not always understand, they may not have had the exact circumstances but as Jewells said in another post, where one leaves off another picks up :)
Thanks for a great post MJ
Otherwise, only Hubby, in real life. That's it. Great Ponderables can be pondered, and a few people can be trusted with Inmost Workings, and everyone loves a good silly Leo.... But no, outside DS, among fellow trauma survivors, it's very rare.
Mind you, my two BFFs and I shared some tumultuous times in our teens, so that may also be a big factor with them. We saw sh*t together, y'know? Huh. Never thought of that before.
Great thread, Muji!
Whoops, I suspect I was oversharing there. Sorry!
i was once in a peer-to-peer group that hated me. when i am having a really hard time i am honest about it. so i share what was going on full boar. ok no biggie. this is where they got touchy. for every other person in the group having difficulties i did my best to help lift them up. encourage them. i would share my way of looking at things which is every little victory counts and don't punish yourself cause its ok to have a bad day. (mind you this was over 4 years ago) for some reason this rubbed the "in charges" and regulars wrong.
I/WE love it here. i can pour out my heart, vent off my anger & frustrations, feel useful & supportive, share ideas & discoveries, and be goofy just cause. PLUS! Ya'll notice me. that's a big deal for me. i don't use my real name (that alone helped my to feel very very safe) and i didn't have to fill out a huge form verifying who i am (like when they give you those pills). Yet each time i pop in i feel so blessed cause you notice me.
with out DS PTSD i don't think i could be as healthy as i am today. my husband insists that i keep up visits here regularly. he sees the hurt when i can't.
BIG THANK YOU HUGS!!!!