Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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Hink 07/22/2009

I haven't put the time into this site as I should. But it's been rough this summer, everyday seems to get harder. My ptsd is 15 years old now, I realized today that there is a decline in my mental health during summer months. I hate to sound like a broken record but I'm tired of waking up in the morning in pain and fear.

People around me pretend to understand but they can't, sometimes that's worse. People think I'm strange because I see things fro different angles and perspectives (this often gets me in trouble because people do not understand.

Case for point, people who always have to be right. I deal with them day in and day out, some people act all smug like being right is so awesome. Yet those same people seem to be the ones that refuse to admit being wrong.

My perspective has people thinking I'm nuts, I say lok at the pros and cons of being right and wrong. Which one do you really get more out of?

If you're right you get to say I told you so, if you're wrong and you admit you gain more of a sense of humility and respect usually follows.

If you're right you get validation, if you're wrong (and you accept it) you get an education. You learn something new, that's good.

If you're right it's tempting to stay motionless, I'm right and I'm sitting here where I'm always right. Afterall the ego is so sensitive it's best to protect it. If you're wrong, you gain humility and you gain knowledge which combined strengthen that fragile ego...so what is good about being right?

Why do people always assume that because I have a disorder I must be stupid? Why do people say "get over it"? I don't know how. People tell me to make my mind go blank...huh? How do I do that, I can't shut my mind off. I take forever to get to sleep, I fall asleep thinking, I wake up thinking...make my mind go blank? I can't

People ask why I'm anti social, because I don't fit in...please don't force a square peg in a round hole...but everyone knows the answer...just get over it, I can't...I can do many things, I don't like saying I can't...but I can't.

deleted_user 07/22/2009

ptsd can be so confusing and terrible, it really sucks. I realize that if someone does not have ptsd it is best to just keep quiet and say nothing otherwise my mouth gets me into great problems. I am also anti social because of this. I tried dealing with it by acting as if nothing happened and I was not hurting and that did not work. It only hurt me more and i self medicated my feelings away. It does not matter who is right or wrong. In the end it is gods judgment not mine, so what do I care. We have the right to be around loving people or hurtful people so I choose the ones that understand and stay away from the abusers. I tried for years to make people understand but I realized that it only hurt me and I need to use that energy on healing myself. It is working. I am sleeping much better and finding inner peace. I pray you feel better soon. take care of yourself and love yourself, you will find peace

deleted_user 07/23/2009

You CAN. You just have to make the choice to. What therapies have you tried? Neuro-Linguistic Programming and hypnosis are very powerful healing tools for trauma. They will help your mind clear away the images you're making -- and replace them with better ones. Happy to give you more info if you want it....

Hink 07/23/2009

Michele I would like more info, thank you

imajlv, thank you for your warm words and encouragement. I am a christian, I believe in god but not religion. I have another issue in my life that I am trying desperately to turn over to god but it's hard.

Part of the problem is I believe with all my heart god hates me, I'm adopted and believe it's because I'm not suppose to be where I am. In fact I go as far as to say I'm a non person. I have gone on and on with people about this and always am told I lack faith. Not true, my faith is so strong I beleive god hates me. You can't have love without hate, you can't have good without bad, you can't have happiness without sadness. Sure god is about love, but what of the forsaken?

Hink 07/23/2009

I can't edit my post, but I want to add that the one thing that stops me from ending it all is because I believe that's the only unforgivable sin. My faith is that strong, otherwise I would rid the world of my presence, I'm not suppose to be here anyhow.

Somewhere around nov of 1958 some woman/girl made a mistake. I am the result of this mistake and I am the one that has to suffer for her err...

deleted_user 07/23/2009

You are beautiful, gifted and talented. You have soooo much to offer this world. You are a blessing from god.

deleted_user 07/24/2009

I totally agree with you about being right and wrong and learining from it. Being wrong sometimes makes you a better person. It always gives you an opportunity to learn. I also believe that even though you feel hurt and angry about being adopted, sure maybe your birth mother made a mistake and for whatever reason, she did what she thought was best for you. The people that adopted you did it for a reason. They love you. want you to be a part of them. Even if it wasn't the best life growing up and feeling like your an outsider, they put a lot into adopting you. As a mother of 4 I can also relate to being a birth mom and when your young or very unplanned, it's so hard raising children. Mom's always want what's best for our kids. So the woman that gave birth to you did what she thought was best for you. We always have some connection with our kids and always wonder but if we can't care for them like they deserve, we need to face the facts and give them to someone that can.Try not taking it in a bad way, try looking at being a good thing. Notice I said TRY...your adoptive parents opened up their life to strangers to adopt you. You truly are loved. And I have faith that in time, you will feel alot better about everything. You are in my prayers...Take Care!

p.s.- i visited ur website....LOVE IT! I think you are a great artist, keep up the good work!

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