I posted this in my journal, but felt a need to share it here also.

As you all know Ive been going through uncontrollable body memories for a while now. My mind could change the way I think in a healing way, my heart and emotions can apply the healing truths, but my body is still present in the past abuse.

So, my therapist asked me if my body memories had a voice what would they be saying? I could not believe the impact of that question and how it helped me understand why body memories are near to impossible to over come.

The voice of my body memories was screaming with petrifying terror that came from the inner most place of my flesh.I let that sink in during my session, as I began to meditate on that question all day. At bed time I found myself on my knees before the Lord sobbing with the deepest terror I have ever experienced. It was a groaning of pure torture. The pain was excruciating and I thought I was going to die from them. However, I realized the more I verbalized the words of my screaming flesh the weaker the body memories had a hold on me.

Whats more amazing is the fact that I was present with my personality that endured all of the satanic ritual abuse. I came to understand that the issues of Victoria were actually mine. Owning the the terror that that personality endured, all though all most too much for my mind to contain, was shared between that brave 9 year old girl and myself. Owning the body memories and giving them a voice has brought me back from one of the most darkest places of my life.

So, I want to thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts during this trial I have gone through!

God Bless you!
Hugs and Love,
Jessy