Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I've been quite busy lately and I missed you guys!
Had a lot of exams and other school stuff going on, so I'm basically just running around, trying to help people who ask me about anything while squeezing in some learning to keep my grades as good as they are.
Also my mothers depression is acting up again, which means we're in full-on role reversal again. I'm worried about her but I feel like I don't have enough energy to keep helping her with her work, do as much as I can in the household, comfort her when she has a particularly bad day, get her to just get up and do stuff, etc. Not with everything I've got going on.
Her depression triggers my abandonment issues so I start pushing everyone away (getting ready for the worst before any damage is done is my life philosophy, it seems).
Speaking of triggers, because of the stress I'm more susceptible to them so I have at least three flashback every day which is slowly but surely wrecking what's left of my nerves, keeping me on edge and hypervigilant 24/7.
My best friend has trouble with his family, so I'm doing my best to be there for him but again, it's difficult to keep doing it.
On the topic of family: My beloved little sis is going to visit our abusive arsehole of a father together with her mother, and I know (if probably not physically) he is going to hurt her and I can't do anything about it except be there for her afterwards and put the pieces back together but I just feel so bloody helpless! I want to protect her, I tried talking her mother out of it but she just doesn't understand. I know she will regret taking my sister to visit him afterwards (she always does) but she won't learn from it.
I'm worried and I'm tired and exhausted and frustrated. I feel like I could just sleep for a week, but even if I had the time my bloody insomnia keeps me from sleeping more than two hours a day. For weeks.
I'm starting to get seriously pissed at myself for being so weak which I know will end in me pushing myself far beyond my limits in every way I can think of until I literally faint from exhaustion. Bad habit, I know. Another thing to get pissed about.
Sry, just venting. I'll be fine. Eventually.
Ta for reading!
Had a lot of exams and other school stuff going on, so I'm basically just running around, trying to help people who ask me about anything while squeezing in some learning to keep my grades as good as they are.
Also my mothers depression is acting up again, which means we're in full-on role reversal again. I'm worried about her but I feel like I don't have enough energy to keep helping her with her work, do as much as I can in the household, comfort her when she has a particularly bad day, get her to just get up and do stuff, etc. Not with everything I've got going on.
Her depression triggers my abandonment issues so I start pushing everyone away (getting ready for the worst before any damage is done is my life philosophy, it seems).
Speaking of triggers, because of the stress I'm more susceptible to them so I have at least three flashback every day which is slowly but surely wrecking what's left of my nerves, keeping me on edge and hypervigilant 24/7.
My best friend has trouble with his family, so I'm doing my best to be there for him but again, it's difficult to keep doing it.
On the topic of family: My beloved little sis is going to visit our abusive arsehole of a father together with her mother, and I know (if probably not physically) he is going to hurt her and I can't do anything about it except be there for her afterwards and put the pieces back together but I just feel so bloody helpless! I want to protect her, I tried talking her mother out of it but she just doesn't understand. I know she will regret taking my sister to visit him afterwards (she always does) but she won't learn from it.
I'm worried and I'm tired and exhausted and frustrated. I feel like I could just sleep for a week, but even if I had the time my bloody insomnia keeps me from sleeping more than two hours a day. For weeks.
I'm starting to get seriously pissed at myself for being so weak which I know will end in me pushing myself far beyond my limits in every way I can think of until I literally faint from exhaustion. Bad habit, I know. Another thing to get pissed about.
Sry, just venting. I'll be fine. Eventually.
Ta for reading!
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Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
You are *not* weak.
You are under a *lot* of pressure
Repeat after me: "I can't fix it all, and it's not my job to fix it all."
We PTSDers have a way of doing this. (I've exhausted myself into illness, too, more than once.).
Do you have somewhere safe to be other than around your mom? I was the do-it-all kid and believe me, I know where it ends. You are not glue, you are not meant to hold it all together for everyone around you. Okay?
So vent away, we're here, and remember---as bad as things are for others, do *not* forget they're also bad for *you* and to get help and take care of *you*! Been there, done that, burned out.
Gentle support,
Leo
I know it can be really hard to let go of what's not under our power sometimes... I'm glad that you feel safe venting though... So vent all that you need to....xo
We've been doing affirmations around here. My therapist told me it takes 90 days for the affirmations to sink into your subconscious (I'm sure she explained it more scientifically than that) so I'm waiting to see if that happens or not. Meanwhile, I have some affirmations for you - please tailor them to your own needs and taste, and repeat them to yourself often:
I have the right and the obligation to take care of myself first.
I have the right to set limits around what I am willing to do for others.
I am valuable regardless of how well I meet others' needs.
It is lovely and admirable that you want so much to help to the people you care about, but you simply must take care of yourself by setting some limits on what you do. Otherwise you are going to be harmed by what you're doing, and that's not okay. You are as important as anyone else you're trying to help!
Big hugs for you - you deserve them!
ladydi1961