I have not felt myself since the PTSD started either. I use to be a social person, well spoken and could remember everything. Now I can't stand to be in a crowd of people, stutter when I am stressed and can't remember where my car keys are minutes after putting them down. It frustrates and scares me. I don't want to be like this. I get tremors when I am anxious - I shake so bad that I can't paint or fish. Slowly things are getting better. I can control the flashbacks some and the nightmares are helped by taking Paxil. Hang in there, get counseling. It will get better with time.

I have been through the same thing. BUT the problem was I had stopped taking my meds without any imput from my doctor. I found that when I restarted them, I began to start feeling normal (whatever that is). I hope you didn't stop your taking your meds without approval. I would definitely get ahold of your counselor or someone who knows you and you can talk to about what is going on. Try to calm down and use your coping skills i.e... breathing, reassuring thoughts, self talk, or whatever makes you feel better.

What you describe sounds like dissociation. It doesn't mean you have DID. Almost all PTSD sufferers feel dissociated at some point. It's where stress becomes so great that your consciousness as you usually understand yourselr sort of retreats and you're left with a feeling of not being all there, or feeling numb - you can't feel normal things. With more extreme cases you feel like someone else. You're still you, but we have a complicated personality full of decades of memories and experiences - many traumatic all pulling on the consciousness. When you don't feel like you, it is usually subconscious experiences and feelings you can not even remember come up to awareness and it just doesn't feel right. Just remember that this happens to many of us and is a result of PTSD trauma. It would be good to tell a therapist about it and talk about/learn more about dissociation. Peace.