Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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I'm currently living with my parents

4evralne
4evralne

I'm currently living with my parents and I was sexually abused as a child. My mom believed me as soon as I told her I was being abused! What she said though I haven't been able to get over since the day I told about my abuse was her exact words were "I always knew he was a sick Man! I just never thought he would do it to you too! She went on to say that she would put me in between her and him as he would try to attack her sexually while my dad was working. So at some point my mom went out and got a job. I was 3 years old So she left me in the hands of my grandparents for babysitting the grandfather who was the one who was attempting to sexually assult her? If he did actually assult her I'm not sure she never confirmed that she only ever said that she put me in the way to stop it! And that he would come over and try. The day I told of the abuse we went to my Aunt's house who is married to the brother of my father which is the father who did the attacking and abusing and immediately my Aunt said that He had attacked her as well and that was why she didn't ever allow my cousins one of them a girl and one of them a boy to ever go up there alone or allow them to be around him alone! At the time I kinda felt relief that I was believe but confused that she she didn't stop him from abusing me! I would call my parents crying to come get me and come back home! And it was the same answer every time! No! They would not come get me and that I would have to wait until the next morning to get picked up! Or that my grandfather would give me a ride home no matter how hard I would cry and beg them... I even begged them to drive me and not my grandfather! So All the Clue's were there and especially with my mom saying that he was already attacking her! How in the world COULDN'T they have known that I was being abused OR at least something was wrong! Present day I unfortunately suffer from pretty bad emtional and mental health illnesses and now have a lot of pshyical issue but my parents awhile back in VERY MUCH ANGER HAD told me and the family meeting we had during our outpatient therapy they never want to hear about or discuss anything else regarding my child sexual abuse

SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK
I am glad that you were believed, but the rest was a horror show. To put a child in harm's way is so beyond unacceptable. Sounds like your parents have a great deal of guilt over the choices they made and so want it to go away. It is sad that they didn't let you live with your aunt who would have protected you. This is your journey to take, and we will be here to support you as you heal. Comforting hugs.
Beryl367
Beryl367
Hi 4evralne. Welcome. I am so sorry you suffered such terrible abuse. I also come from a family where people ignore things they can't or don't know how to deal with,where appearances are more important than health or propriety, and there was sexual abuse in my family as well. The fact that they aren't willing to discuss the abuse is not surprising. They failed to act to protect you, failure is a hard thing to be confronted with (though it would probably be good for all of you if the whole family could face the past, it's one of the things that can help change the future). Good for you for getting help on your own, this will help ensure that you would make different choices than they did if you ever (God forbid) face the same situation.

It's so hard to go back to an environment where you weren't protected and cherished. Know though that you are older and stronger than when you are abused. You have survived and that in itself is a win. As an adult you are stronger and have more options for getting help.

Hugs and peace.
4evralne
4evralne
Thank you! Unfortunately to this day they are still controlling me like I am a 5 year old. Especially now that the covid-19 has Hit the nation. I'm not allowed to leave the house expect to go around my neighborhood but they just left the house to take a nice drive around the city or wherever! I was designated for the person who be going to the stores during the covid-19. My health and wellness is of course no concern to them or sadly to say even my own children due to after the accident that killed my son I fell into a deep depression and my parents had to help me with my other children and by them helping me out my children ACTUALLY think my mom is more of a mother to them than I am! As well as my dad. They are both very disrespectful with me and to me! My pshyical health has taken a turn for the worse and not one of them is concerned about me or ONCE asked me how AM I doing or can they help me! Instead I'm IGNORED, get met with anger or not even believed until the doctor says so! Yesterday I was diagnosed with a prolapsed bladder and rectum and I was already SUFFERING from unexplained joint, muscle inflammation and swelling and pain for a month now, and I can barely walk or grip anything! And that is still not enough for them to be concerned! Yesterday my mom had bad gas pain in her stomach and you would have thought she was really going to die! They were running around like Fool's getting a thermometer, blood pressure machine, checking her blood sugar, getting a heated pad! They called her doctor and had them call in a ultrasound and about 20 minutes later she let out a huge FART! Give me a break! Even when I was little I broke my foot and my mom made me walk on it because she didn't want to believe that I broke it or she really didn't want to take the time to take me to the doctor
4evralne
4evralne
See my parents patterns have never changed! I have sought out help! But I have never gotten away from there abusive ways
Alittlelostinside
Alittlelostinside
I still spend time around people who knew i was being abused by my father but they never said or did anything to help or try stop it. We dont ever mention the abuse. I hold alot of anger too but i also want a relationship with my family its very difficult situation. Ur not alone. Hugs.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Welcome to the board 4evralne...… I am so sorry for what's brought you here but I'm glad that you've found us..

This is a good place to come

I can't imagine how horrible this would have been …. It's really a terrible thing that you endured due to your parents ? denial as well as your grandfather's sick desire...

I am so sorry that you've had to endure this.... Gentle hug.....xo
Community LeaderLeo
Leo
Hello.

Oh, that's a rotten situation. I am glad you vented some of it here. I wish your parents acknowledged the problem more openly, for your sake, but as theyd on't? We're here.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
This stuff tore my family apart, too, 4evralne,over and over in both my immediate family and in my extended family including my grandparents and my aunts and uncles. The state's social services removed my cousins and put them in foster care and those were saved. One was adopted out halfway across the country, and she and I later on became friends as adults.

My parents decided to run farther away as missionaries to South America. But they proved that while it's key to get away, the geographical cure isn't enough. They repeated the abuse on me down in South America. About the time I came here to DS PTSD to talk about it openly 8 years ago, they turned around and quit talking to me. As they say, "denial's not just a river in Egypt," huh?
Miss.Chaplin
Miss.Chaplin
Sorry to hear what happened to you.
I got sexually abused by a doctor who was a disgusting predator. I bottled it up for 15 years. When I told my parents my dad supported me but my mother scalded me. It worsens my mental health. I've had several traumas occurring from age 16 to 29, so I haven't had as much abuse as you, but I know how it feels mentally..... I remember thinking, "This body doesn't belong to me anymore". My parents have worsened my mental health with the other crimes I've had, and we've had fights and I've now made it clear they should have supported me and not judge me.

Now, years later my mind has just accepted that my parents' minds can't cope with what's happened to me. They both know they've let me down and if they feel guilty, they feel guilty. I've had 3 types of therapy and two of them helped.

I'm now focusing on me, my present moment, my well being, the activities I like to do, and imagining the promising things ahead of me. I'm not telling myself "I want...." but rather "I'm looking forward to....."
I still live with my parents but I know at some point I'll move out, enter a new stage, meet new people, and enjoy my life. I've still got my physical health, my abilities and a decent brain. I've learned to forgive others, even my abusers (not because what they did was acceptable), so that I can let go and move on.
It may feel impossible, but you will heal from all this. Abusers are losers.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
How's it going today, 4evralne? I thought of you today when I listened to the Marc Maron podcast interview with Rosie O'Donnell. She talked about growing up with abuse in her family of origin, and then about being a parent now herself.

http://www.wtfpod.com/podcast/episode-1116-rosie-odonnell

(Warning==there's some explicit language in it)
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