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this morning finds me perusing the list of how many times the answer, "i don't know." has opened the door to therapy breakthroughs. i haven't kept score, but methinks it is safe to say it has happened a lot.
i theorate that when i am certain i have all the RIGHT answer and feel morally obligated to assert my rights, i am typically just feeding my control beast. when my control beast fails to enforce my inalienable rights, i start washing wishes. after the wish fairy comes another slide down the proverbial rabbit hole where queens --like me-- have the right to order royal guards, "off with their heads."
when i stop viewing myself as the oracle of all things right and admit i just don't know, i open the door to the healing mysteries.
i think. maybe. i theorate. am i making sense?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
my most profound enlightenments don't always make sense outside my head.
there was a time when i thought "i don't know" was a sign of weakness and a dangerous show of vulnerability. these days i'm wondering if it shows great and honest strength.
just wondering. . .
My view back when I was busy causing alot of my own suffering along with causing alot of suffering in others? To be blunt, back then I did not think of any of these things at all. I was just busy REACTING to what i felt in ways I was taught to react by my ABUSERS, thereby perpetuating my own torture and abuse long after my perp no longer had access to me.
My own personal view of, "I do not know" is, that it is honest and humble. If i admit I do not know, then there is room for me to grow and learn. Just like, when I screw things up and hurt others or myself, I apologize. I do not consider apologizing to be a sign of weakness at all but rather again, a mark of humility and as I continue breathing and living this life I find that humility is not only something I need to practice, but it is also something I place a very high value on from others that I interact with.
Meanwhile, back in my head? lol. I am reminded of a saying that I have found to be true and relevant in my own life. It goes like this, "The more I learn the less I know. Soon I will have learned so much that I am convinced I will actually come to know nothing at all."
I am also reminded of another saying, "knowledge puffs up, Love builds up" Knowledge does not have to bring pride, but it often does. Personally i find pride to be a hinderance to my own peace and comfort, and love to be not only what I want to receive, but also what I want to give to every other person I can.
Thanks for your post.