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First, my mother, she has been hurt by my father many times just like me.
But today I wanted to do something with my friends (hanging out like normal people) and she said "no" so I asked "why" because there was not really a reason for her to say no.
And she then started getting irritated so I backed off, but she continued to yell and be mad at me so I went to my room because I didn't want anything to get worse but she continued to be mad and shouted impolite things through the door.
So then I went to her and pleaded for forgiveness and was truly sorry for whatever I did, but she just didn't care and then grabbed my hair and pulled me downstairs, locked me in a room and said "think about what you did". After that I went to the door and waited for her to go back upstairs, and I then darted up and out of the house. And refused to come back in.
I then called my grandmother to come pick me up and here I am now confused and worried about what just happened.
Im not sure what to think or do about this
What are your friends like? What time of day did all of this happen? What time would you have returned home? Drugs? Alcohol? Cars? Sex?
A few hours in the afternoon, after homework and chores are done, is hanging out. Staying out until midnight is another thing...
Grabbing you by the hair is wrong. You refusing to come back into the house was also wrong.
***I'm known as the permissive parent because my kids have no curfew, few rules, and no requirements to check in...but if I said no and they left the house anyway...it wouldn't be pretty.***
Time of day- Evening
Return home- An hour or two later
Straight A's at school as well.
Can you tell me more about your parents? Is your father controlling? Is there another way to get out of the house...as in a part time job, volunteering or club? (Sometimes if something is scheduled it might go over better??)
I do have a job but it's exactly after school and only 2-3 hours usually (at a soup kitchen).
If you are in school, I think you might want to go talk to the counsellor or at least your teacher. It is not good that you are being locked in a room and pulled down the stairs. That is abuse. Then there is the name calling. Emotional abuse is real and some say it is actually worse than physical abuse, I would say they are both equally bad.
Keep safe.
((hugs))
Anxiety? Afraid of losing you? Afraid of your friendships with other people?
Your father passed away? How long ago?
Is religion a factor?
-Yes he did, 3 years ago.
-I do have a religion, but it's not a factor towards her behavior.
Is there anyone that she listens to that you could talk to? Your grandmother? Religious leader? Aunt?
If that doesn't work...then definitely the school counselor. And again, more scheduled activities might open the door to you getting out of the house without upsetting or triggering her too much.
This all definitely sounds like your mother's issues. The good news to that...is well 'it's not you'. The bad part to that, is that since it's not you, you won't have much ability to change much about it.
Big hugs, Patti