This is just my opinion but if your "friend" doesn't understand you and feels you creep him out combined with the fact he makes you feel bad doesn't sound like he is a true friend. Friends are going to occasionally hurt each other. It is unavoidable I think. However true friends forgive and move on. If he isn't ok with who you are than how can he be a friend? True friends forgive, are accepting, and seek understanding.

I am kinda with atec here. Some want to blame us for things that are part of us. So why are they "friend"
You said it was accidental, maybe hitting one of his triggers to his life? There is a word ...acquaintance, that seems a better fit, since a friend would understand you better.
You can't control the affect of how others take you, only how you take them. Time to let go the idea that he was a friend and only an acquaintance.

Support while you sort.
J.

GOing with Atec. Big hugs.

I was thinking the same as Atec.. no friend would feel you creep them out or not be ok with you. If he makes you all feel bad then he isn't a healthy person for you anyway.

Please don't hate yourselves, you do not contaminate other people although we always think its our fault.

did you start talking to him again recently? is that why this came up again last night? or is this something from several years ago?

Sorry, I wasn't myself...one of my parts was hijacking things...kind of still is?

TRIGGER WARNING







We accidentally hurt someone's feelings in a chat room last night, and it triggered some really bad feelings?
We went ahead and felt those.
I am working on not flipping out, but I'm trying to get my binge eating under control and my weight gain back down?
I'm up 60 pounds from where I should be, 70 from where I WANT to be, and my blood pressure is back into hypertensive range.

So things are suddenly kind of ripping loose, because food really, really does work to keep things tamped down even better than self injury.
...That particular part seems to have taken one of the really nasty incidents.
Our ex-guy used to help us with this stuff. Now we feel pretty alone with it, and not really prepared to let anyone too close now. He turned on us. He hates us now.

We sort of wish we'd gone over there and let him kill us. We think that's what he really wanted to do.
He took an axe to his phone. We think he wanted to do that to us, not the phone.
He threatens to kill himself to hurt us now.He tries to kill himself to hurt us.

We dunno why he does that. He used to love us. We're alone with this now.
...It doesn't make sense. The Front tells us it's not our fault. It's not our fault. It's so hard to believe that.
People are not safe.
Everyone we love destroys us.

you are not alone, you have us (i will message you after this)

Its not your fault. You are not alone, it is not your fault. you are not alone, it is not your fault.

right now? if eating helps? eat. worry about that when you are able. that's my take on it. one step at a time.

It will be waiting for us when we are big as a whale again, Doo.

We are disgusting.

In my view, you are one of the people who reaches way out to some of the most injured people out there. It makes me sad and angry that SOME of the those people then feel entitled to act out their stuff on you. I put your ex guy in this category. He is giving himself permission to be the hurt baby now and not caring about how his actions affect you. I call that acting out on you and I am angry that he does that. You don't deserve that. You are as important as anyone else. Your feelings are as important as theirs. I don't like this guy who goes out of his way to tell you you hurt his feelings. He is hurting you by doing so. Why can't he just keep it to himself? You're not a rock or other hard object for people to act out on. It's not right and it's not acceptable.

Who ever puts you first and gives you the kind of tender loving care you lavish on others?

I want to protect you from those entitled people. You deserve protection and support. You are not hurtful, creepy or insensitive. You are kind, caring, courageous and helpful. You need to be treated with consideration, tenderness and respect.

(((gentle hugs)))

it is not your fault, blue - everything is not your fault, you are good and kind and loving and helpful. we will help you remember those things. for right now it is important to let us help, k?

Hugs to u blue. Please be kind to yourself.

Yeah, blue, like Sarah said, be kind to yourself. You're a wonderful friend, you've just been lovely to me and to others here giving strength, courage, and lots of wisdom generously.

I know how awful it feels as someone who's been abused to even think you acted that way toward another person. But I know you well enough to be absolutely sure that if you did hurt him you certainly didn't do it on purpose. So forgive yourself as we, your friends, forgive you. And if he won't forgive you, then I agree with others here that it defines him, not you.

You're a great person, blue. Thanks for being in my life, honest.

Thx all. ((( hugs )))