Divorce is terrifying.

I joined DS when my ex left and I was left wondering what was going to happen to myself, my 5 year old daughter and 7 year old son (who had been suspended from kindergarten, had a rough 1st grade year, the boy down the street that had looked like he was going to be a good friend...his father wanted my son kicked out of school...it was horrible).

I'd been suicidal a long time before that...but that was definitely the WORST year.

(My son is friends with that boy now...long story. Noah's dad is still the only person on this Earth that I've ever wished death on. I've worked hard to forgive myself for that.)

Things that my ex and other said...only made me feel so much worse (my mother straight out blamed me).

Then I read someone else's journal. Someone that was about 6 months further head of me in the divorce process. I was SHOCKED...he'd been suicidal too.

If HE could be suicidal and make it through to the other side...then maybe, just maybe I could too.

My ex said two things to me. 1) That he may regret it one day. and 2) That it was the best thing ever for me. Both turned out to be true.

I KNOW today is hard. But...I promise you...there WILL be a tomorrow. You are stronger than you think you are.

Patti

I am so sorry your feeling like this, divorce is hard, I have been divorced twice so I understand the pain, all I have to say is your getting a second chance, please don’t get depressed, use it as a chance to better yourself, don’t listen to the lies that you aren’t worth anything or you will always be how you are, youcan change you just have to want it, and if your taking the time to divorce, you just want to better yourself, if you feel this is the best decision, just don’t give up, just use this as a bet chapter of life, life is worth living for everyone, you included, don’t forget, Jesus loves you. God bless

I had similar thoughts in leaving my husband. He was an abusive narcissist well skilled in the art of gaslighting. I kept wondering if I was overreacting. With therapy I am in a better place and confident in my decision almost all the time. I will add if your friend was saying bad things about you behind your back that’s entirely on her and her ability to form healthy relationships. Gentle hugs!

Mara, in my world, friends don't explode at me. If upset with an action of mine, they can let me know. If a friend expresses concern about me, it is an opportunity to hear them out and they may be right to be concerned. I may get some growth from it. You are going through a tough decision making time, and handling a great deal with the babies. We are here for you. Healing and calming hugs.

Gentle, supportive hugs. I'm not good at finding words right now. Just know that I care for you. Hang in there, Marah.