Every time I see a man with a certain style of mustache and certain length of hair I freeze up on the inside.... I become reminded of my mom's boyfriend.... He used to beat the shit out of me....every night, and he would always make up stuff to get me into trouble.... and when I would try to block him out by listening to music in my room or closing the door he would come up with a tool kit and unscrew the door so I would not have any door to my room and if I had music playing he would come up and pull my stereo from the wall and take it downstairs to hide it.... there is a lot more he did but I rather not talk about it.... anyway, for starters I hate my mom.... she would never do anything to help me.... I cried to her and told her everything that was going on but she ignored me every time and just said, "stop lying, ur just mad he's not ur real father".... so my mom pretty much abandoned me for a couple years.... and when we went to the police and children services nothing was done..... this is one of the major reasons I hate this world so much.... every day I will have flashbacks.... and inside me I will feel the anger and hatred I have for this world and for my mom and her boyfriend (who she is still with by the way and every time I tell her what happened she refuses to believe it and when she sounds like she does believe it she just says how it doesn't matter) and so I don't know.... does anyone have any ideas on how I can move on and be normal again?.... I'm tired of all the flashbacks and I don't wanna live through this hell anymore....