the word rage has massive energy to it . . .


what about trying to back off of that word? Here's a video clip on how to do that (and maybe get to and through the pain behind the word?)

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=graham+cooke+brilliant+thinking&mid=C11FB3E7A3B178F4739CC11FB3E7A3B178F4739C&view=detail&FORM=VIRE3

Although I dont know exactly how you feel, I know rage, I know trying to let go of it and I know how I feel when it comes out, sometimes out of nowhere towards others and I hate it.
I do not have pat answers. The first time I had rage was after my last incident and I wanted to destroy my apartment, the emotion was too much for me. (I did not do it) but called someone, a stranger who did know exactly what I was feeling and she let me talk and then she talked, softly. I find myself removing it from my spirit, forgiving, intellualizing and pretty much denying it but sooner or later it pops out at the grocery store, lots of times with customer service on the phone!!! but its getting better. I dont think I have rage and not sure what word but there is something there Im working with my counselor on trying to find out.

One of the most freeing things I have done it to actually symbollicy (sp) do something with it. I write down what I am angry about, what I feel is causing the rage as specifi as possible and take it to a place and leave it. For me being a beleiver I took it to a cross and then in my mind when it would resurface I would remember and lay it back down. I dont always remember, especially talking to customer service but it makes it easier and my anger less threatening and I feel more like the loving person I can be.

Sisterlu has a great suggestion that I use....write it out. When I am mad, it will take it down several notches.

DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), similar to CBT but with extra emphasis on moderating emotions offers means to help w/ this.

DBT has this concept about developing increased inner tolerance for our emotional distress, and gives specific suggestions on how to do it. Then it pairs this w/ using soothing techniques to calm and redirect one's feelings and attention.

You can find DBT self help work books -like online at Amazon. This might give you a way to head more quickly down the management road.

To me it's not a matter of how to let go of SPECIFIC stuff, but how to change our inner habits about how we process our reactions in general. So as we move into the future we don't repeat old reactions in new situations...

Am just thinking understanding and mental habit change are key.

Agree lettibe3...I could teach DBT in my sleep and the great thing is it works.

guayaba, I think I saw the word rage and automatically went into that (sorry)I just remember that I felt rage at one-time and everyone was downplaying it bc it was so not me that I wanted you to know your feelings were validated while perhaps I validated mine.
You have good suggetions~

dbpalm- I liked that very much (recommend looking at it). It reminds me of a skill called "moving up the emotional scale" by Esther and Jerry Hicks. I sometimes hesistate recommending them to some people due to the fact that their talks often sound anti-religion. Their ideas, though are good. I pick through and hear what works for me and leave the rest. It is similar in that it involves refining how you describe how you are feeling, moving toward emotions that work out better for you. This brings to mind that I do have a choice about how I describe my feelings to myself and others and how I do that will affect how I feel. I think a reason I have perhaps chosen rage is that it feels more empowered than helplessness, which is where I go when there is nothing I can do.

Sisterlu, I agree that if it does not come out somehow, it still gets out, then I'm crankin' on the people who don't deserve to be cranked on. As Sarahada points out, if I write it down, that's one way to get it out so it doesn't build up and get worse. Or your suggestion about calling someone. I am fortunate to have a couple of people who can listen to this, but I want to be careful not to wear them out.

Letitbe3- I used to use DBT with students in a daytreatment school where I taught, so I guess "teacher, teach thyself", right? I remember it was easy to form groups because while not everyone had a specific dx, there wasn't one person (kids, staff, me) who wouldn't benefit from those skills. I have the book somewhere, so I will pull that out again. I agree, I probably won't ever completely let go of this feeling toward this particular issue; I just want to do what I can so it doesn't have me in it's grip to the exclusion of better things.

I don't try to stop feeling the one feeling, like rage. That leads me to dissociate and feel nothing. I just try to identify my rage and one other feeling and it, then rage + 2 and name those and so on.

Like others here, the way I was brutalized that led to my PTSD would make anyone rage-filled. I'll always be angry about that, like it makes me angry to see anyone abused. But I work at having that not be the only emotion I feel. If I do that, I'm just continuing the work of my abusers, and they don't deserve that level of participation from me in their unfinished work of trying to destroy me.

It's not a perfect approach, but it works for me and gets me moving off of just sitting around fuming with rage. Just speaking for myself, that got boring after a few years.

guayaba,

"Teacher, teach thy self"? Well don't forget "easier said than done".
As former psych academic myself, can't count the number of times I've had to discover 'the hard way' stuff I already knew intellectually frontwards and back!

mujica, Love your method of expanding out from a dark point into the light, by moving beyond all or nothing dichotomies. Gee, you said you just recently started working in a directed manner on your PTSD stuff per se, but you are applying pretty sophisticated logic. I love the idea of seeing PTSD itself as a reminder of survivor status. We are all wearing Purple Hearts on our chests.

I like the purple hearts on my chest, I wrote once about mine being on my sleeve which has two totally different meanings. We are as multi-dimensional as our life and because of that and what we know...we can all bring something towards our healing~

I sure don't mean to or didn't mean to minimize rage (or the reason for) when I replied.

Guayaba, I love alot of the Abraham stuff, too, even though I am uncomfortable with the 'channelling' . . what I've taken to doing is absorbing the truth, regardless of the channel or source and alot of their stuff is truth!

And, I will be very honest in admitting that when I've been triggered, I don't remember even half the stuff that works! I'll remember maybe a couple and be doing everything I can to center myself and sink into the abyss.

Letitbe3- sometimes I think I just pour goodies out like that (DBT- great stuff) and hope that some of it will stick to me! The cornerstone of DBT (as much as I remember) was the mindfulness. Bringing myself back to now- I'm not currently under attack/ my kid is not currently under attack- we are instead (fill in the blank) much better off than being under attack.

Mujica- I agree about letting the rage be among the emotions I can feel, not to the exclusion of others. This is one of the reasons I felt it important not to block it out entirely. When I avoid it all together, it dulls not only rage but also the emotions I would prefer to feel instead.

Thanks for posting this. I got some new ideas and yes...when Im not grounded initially when I feel it, it is hard to remember but if I am dealing with long term ? of what to do with rage, its different, I have choices that I might not have otherwise.

mujicaptsd...i like your thoughts too

dbpalm, it didn't sound like you were minimizing. It seems like Graham Cooke (or Esther, Jerry or whoever else) is acting almost like a good friend who can talk you down from the rawness of negative emotion.

I'm certainly not back in the place I was at each of the low points of this. It does seem to come back in waves. Also, it's over in some respects and not others (anticlimactic resolution of stalking charges-against scumbag, not me!, still to come). I think the fear seems to rekindle the rage stuff too as it seems that continuing to do battle is more probable than not. Would love to believe his attorney could smarten his butt up regarding reappearances, but I'm not sure (depending on his mental state- a sociopath would just be sneakier) that that will work.

Esther and Jerry would say I am "giving this too much air time", which for sure I am. To me though, stranger+violent+no apparent consequences= scary.

Okay, so you guys had all managed to tone this down for me and I have managed to raise it back to a fever pitch.

I guess this last section hits at the heart of why the rage keeps popping back.

Sisterlu, I am now off to look for something lavender to put in the bath. Perhaps some writing (to get stuff out) and for sure to refocus on now.

Hurray for all the purple hearts and lavender here. ...:-) Big blessings, all.