Gratitude has been massive in my life.... I started actively considering gratitude at one of bleakest times for me...
I was very low and this is when God became so much more as did gratitude
If you turn around all that you don't have and start considering all that you do it can really turn life around ... At least it did and continues to for me...
That doesn't mean that I don't struggle at times or get really low... However I can then make myself think about what I have to be grateful for and it can often be an action that we have to work at.. However once we do and it becomes part of our lives and who we are it becomes so much easier
I am very grateful for DS and the wonderful friends and family that I have here...xo

I like how you said that Muji, and I am so glad you have electric!! I am where wind is just picking up now, and I remember last year when I was isolating alot, and with so much snow I took a chance and ordered groceries and the human contact and kindness meant so much that it helped me go further, and step out more. It may seem like a little thing, but the fear, the hypervigilance that just seemed to not let up eased...so I am grateful! Hugs

grateful for the girl i taught yesterday ,, the sixty bux i did not ask for to give her a lesson ,, for my best friend Lady ,, for the pain i went through that made me who i am,,, for music and the gift ,, of teaching,, for being here at sixty still not sure why,,, hmmmm best yet to come,, for a warm home and for the noise upstairs that will help me get to my permanent home faster LOL and all the good folks here last but not least and for being made diferent it taught me tolerance

I know the research backs up gratitude but i am a bit wary of gratitude lists because everything i am grateful for i seem to lose. All i have left is my dogs and a 20 year old tradies van. I was grateful for being given an old fridge and washing machine but they were taken back off me two days before Christmas in a spiteful fit. I was grateful for this shabby one room place i live in because i could afford the rent but it is up for sale so I have to live with that. As for the big life stuff like friends and family, health and employment I wont even go there.
i am not saying this to rain on your parade but i have found its better not to be too attached. Be grateful but flexible if that's possible. Everything can change in an instant.

You live in a shabby room, too, looney? I've been embarrassed to say that at my ripe old age of 57 I do, too. I used to own a condo on a golf course, but then divorce came along at the same time that a new university president where I worked fired all the tenured professors in my department and I found myself in the hospital.

Lost it all, 10 years of marriage, career, a fancy home, two cars (one of them a nice little convertible) and my health in one month. Pretty much my mind, too, in the process. My Buddhist meditation group I'd been in for 5 years wanted me out at the same time, can you believe that? So my spiritual support was gone. I had to go to court with my therapist and my psychiatrist at that time, too. I won that court, but then my psychological support was gone, too.

You're right. We can lose it all in an instant. I know, I did. I don't know why I didn't just die right then, no kidding. Only the fact that I decided to help people by becoming a chaplain as a new chapter in my life kept me going at all.

So I'm just thankful you said you live in a shabby room, too, because I know I'm not the only one. I've been so ashamed. I used to be a university professor, recovered from that to have a new career as a hospital chaplain, then had kidney disease and wound up a community college instructor. My best college buddy is a university president now, for God's sake.

He's married, too. I used to be married, now I'm all alone. Used to have a condo with a view of the 18th tee, now I live in a shabby room. There are putty patches in the walls and in my cheap hollow closet doors repairing where previous tenants punched holes in them. I live in the run down side of town. People get evicted here for not paying their rent, so 3 times I've come home from work to find neighbors on my block have all of their furniture on the sidewalk. Just happened again last week. Police came and arrested my next door neighbor twice for dealing drugs before he and his family got evicted. It's no condo on a golf course here.

I'm not being sarcastic in saying that I'm thankful that your speaking up has helped me with my shame that I'm not more outwardly materially successful in my old age. All of my school pals from the past are finishing paying off their mortgages now, have second cars, and are playing with grandchildren. Not me.

But now I know I'm not alone. Thank you.

Now, though, I'm worried you're going to lose your shabby room. Much support to you about that, loo. Keep us posted on what's happening, ok? You're not alone, either.

I'm so sorry to hear all that happened to you. I built up a good life several times but lost it all due to bad relationships and poor coping skills. I actually live in a shed that's been decked out for living so have a bit of a yard but both are pretty rough. I do what I can but it all takes money. Do you find yourself unable to find your place socially now? I don't fit with the drinkers and druggers down the pub on low incomes and the people who have a bit more either look down on me or patronise me. We're survivors though and I try to be grateful for that.

looney, I too live in one room, I use to work at the big fancy teaching hospital and womp...gone...depressed...lost 30 pounds...could not read/write even 5 minutes...no one believed me, no family support, a rickity 14 year old car with bad, noisy lifters...but I had my 3 cats...then the PTSD hit hard...all the past caught up to me...then the pervert maintenance man, snarky neighbors, I lost trust in just about everyone...so at the age I am...well I know too how fast life can change and how people can be insensitive and hateful when you have just done the right thing ( where I live)...everything can change in an instant is so right. Please let us know about your housing, you are not alone, being grateful but flexible..one day at a time!! Hugs

Hugs to you too cheesecake. So many of us who have lost so much. These people don't realize that they will go out of the world with exactly what they came in with - themselves. Can't take the trappings with them lol.

thanks for all the sharing i would live in a shack to have some sense of being cared about and being straight for one day to feel normal ha what is that but to be glbt and mental illness is too much i give hugs all round , losses that come,, those who are paying off mtgs i almost had mine paid off aging stressors lack of support took the house almost paid for with custom pool like muj said, AA and others dissed me for admitting to MH Challenges,,, nobody came when i hit the bottom homeless ,, i was a gifted teacher i did not say that many did,,, and who knew i would be here at this age and losing more and more , thank God i found you all,, wish i could see you for real and have a bon fire with marshmallows all i need is love and acceptance same as all of you,,,,, i am grateful even when bad stuff comes on here sometimes that we have this room and muj gives us a sense of spirit and looney you give me courage make me less sad for what i have al of you are a gift in your own way even those i just dont connect with because we all survived the odds OMG

Yeah, free, I know how much being a teacher meant to you, and though I'm not a university professor or a hospital chaplain either like I was, I know to be grateful I can teach because I love it, too. So thanks for helping me stay aware of that. Almost went on disability in 2012. Yikes.

Cheese, thanks for joining in with me and Loo about living quarters. I mean, that's the thing. For gratitude lists to be effective for me, I have to be able to be real and to say what's been lost. I add to my gratitude list, then, that I have friends here who know what PTSD can lead a person to lose, you know? That means a lot to me, because it frees me from that shame I mentioned, thank God.

Yeah, Loo, since I downsized socio-economically 6 years ago (to put it nicely) my social life has been next to zero. I can count on one hand how many times coworkers have invited me anywhere socially. And as for having anyone over to visit me, it's impossible due to where I live. Nor do I fit in with the drinkers in the bars, either, as you say. You're right, though. You can't take it with you. And as long as you're here on earth, not matter how many pairs of pants you own, you can only wear them one pair at a time, right?

I'm way poorer than I used to be, and it took 6 years just to get up to being this poor since my latest health crash cost me everything AGAIN in 2010. I paid off a big load last year and am just recovering from bankruptcy. But I think I'm more sane, more spirited, and even happier than I've ever been. It's a shame I couldn't have this internal wealth I have inside me now and the external stuff like my past golf course condo and my convertible all at once, huh? Oh, well. Next life, maybe?

Oh that made me smile muji about the pants. And yes we still can be grateful for the small things. I also try to be mindful wandering my garden several times a day appreciating the plants, birds and wildlife. This puzzles the neighbours. Its also grounding to walk barefooted and get some vit d from the sun. Of course they think im just a weird lonely woman, not someone with a purpose lol.

I think gratitude lists definitely work! I used to write them out when i was an older teen coming out of flashbacks and dealing with abuse. I like the idea of it but no longer need to write them out so I give myself five minutes EVERY day to remind myself what I am thankful for.

I also make a point to tell my husband and daughter at least one thing I am grateful about them for every day.

My daughter is six and is becoming selfconscious; to combat this I bought cute tags and every day I tape a new affirmation to her door. By the time we are done she is going to have a HUGE collection, or no more door space left (lol).

I think gratitude lists work to keep you in check for the things you should value, and can be a great way to remind the people around you what you appreciate about them, which in turn helps strengthen your bond with those people. :)

While I am sure it doesn't work for everyone I can't express just how much they have helped me in my recovery.

Thank you for the reminder on gratitude.

I am grateful for my kids all being happy and healthy.
I am grateful for my friend
I am grateful for my dog, he provides unconditional love.

As a child pornography survivor, I was trained in public sexuality from birth. I have the skill to get a bar full of sailors running for the safety of their preachers.

Public gratitude? You're kidding, right? Let the world know you have something to be grateful for and the predators will be circling. Some will rob you with a six gun and some with a fountain pen. Most will just pounce on you while you are busy being grateful.

Still haven't worked my way up to public gratitude, but I have found great healing magic in my private gratitude lists. Sometimes I can share them.

Just me. Just a patient.

i am sorry you all had to downsize it so far,, i wish i had a picture of the actual shack i grew up in outhouse washed clothes in tubs outside torn up furniture when it rained we had to get cans pots the tin roof just poured we slept on an old dirty couch and pallets they could not afford beds and a kerosene heater that was so dangerous we waited for somethng to eat sometimes going without unless my father sold his coupons and brought bread or bologna i still dont know how i survived to be a teacher i oncemade up a pretend birthday party and had to tell my classmates it was a joke OMG i should be in the looney bin not to be corny but by the grace of God i was put in the school band that little gift took me a long way from the shack,, the memories well i guess we were not homeless and we ate good beans and rice and cornbread when we could get it,, i am glad my hard growing up was transformed to help others children ruch and poor i overcoming the poverty, helped me be that teacher who knew