The question was meant to say, "How can I tell my psychologist about my sexual abuse?"

When I first started in therapy, I was so reluctant to talk with my therapist about the sexual abuse that she and I would just sit and stare at each other -- just like you described with your current therapist.

I think what she was trying to make me understand at the time was that I needed to take charge and stop being powerless.

You can start by talking about your fears around discussing the sexual abuse. Maybe you can start with some less threatening topics and let her know that discussing the abuse just feels like too much right now.

I'm not sure how long you have been seeing this therapist, but it does take me a long time to really trust someone enough to discuss my core issues.

Maybe copy what you wrote and read it to her. It's a way to sort of be more objective, to read something you wrote. It's to help you! Maybe if it doesn't improve, could it be another psychologist would be more comfortable for you?

Hi Jim,
All I can suggest would be writing it down. I get very emotional, to the point of becoming physically ill when trying to discuss certain things, even with my therapist & pdoc. I just write them down/type them & bring them in. Still makes me sick afterwards, but it is better than talking about it & having the embarrassment of face to face interaction regarding the subject. It is important information for your treatment though. Good luck & I hope this helps.

when i started to tell my therapist about the sexual abuse and rapes, i typed them up and sent them to her in an email. i only sent one thing at a time and it took a good 6 months before i told her everything. i still send emails to her as i find its the best way to let her know how im feeling. i cant talk about or tell her about it but i can write about it. hope that is helpful for you

Hi Jim
It's difficult I know and you need to have confidence and trust in your therapist. I use a little humour it seems to work for me. I had a male therapist and I could not talk to him about it I just think that women are more understanding! Now that it is out in the open with her we have been working on it and I still feel weird talking about certain things but she is patient,understanding and professional.
I suggest baby steps so to speak. I wrote about it as well and let her read about my abuse and by the way one in six males and one in four females will be sexully assualted before the age of 18. If you have any questions give me a shout.
Peace Grant

When I've had hard times in therapy and couldn't talk, I would write the therapist a letter and let them know what was going on. This caused me some anxiety (learning to stand up for myself), but in the end it was always rewarding. Some times though they would want me to read the letters to them. I would, and always got some type of emotional release from it. Just an idea I wanted to share. Have a good night.

Do you think you'd be more comfortable with a male or female therapist/psychologist??

It takes some time to build a trust level and rapport with a new psychologist...the 'dive in' would probably be too much for anyone to start out with.

I have been in PTSD therapy since April and we haven't even touched on any of the SA...only surface stuff.

But, I am on the look-out for a new therapist since she dumped me...should have dumped her first, but oh well.

Give it some time, and talk around it, the fear maybe, and what all is going on at home and in your life right now. To build a rapport.

It's a tough subject matter. I agree, maybe bringing in some of the things you have written in your journals might help when you are ready.

Thanks to everyone who has given me ideas on how I can talk to my psychologist (who I've been seeing since early August) about the sexual abuse that I received. I am seeing her tomorrow afternoon, but I am still unsure as to exactly what I will do. Part of me wants to get it out and over with, while another part wants me to run away and just forget about everything. I have come too far to do the latter.

A few months ago, I told her that I was keeping a journal on here. She said that was good, but added that she would like me to keep one on my own computer. I have not done that. I have a fear that someone who has no right to be here will see it on my computer. This is a personal matter and I should have the right to only share what I write with persons who I trust.

I will see how things go tomorrow, and then make another journal entry here.

jim, I hope it goes well at therapy...

I also wanted to add that these replies have been really helpful to me, too. I'm going through something similar ... I've begun to discuss it with my therapist but i have SO MUCH SHAME. i'm gonna try to really dive in there tomorrow. i hope it goes well for us both.

I have got as far as telling my counsellor what I cant talk about but need to. Most of this involves sexual abuse. I just listed the events which I felt were very traumatic and left it at that. I know she will check if I am ready to talk about them and this has taken me a long time to tell. I just listed stuff like topic headings having written them down. It was still hard but I did it.

I didn't speak to my counsellor for about the first 3 months. I could only nod, squirm, disappear or shake my head.
She asked me to write down whatever was in my head during the week. Using a pen and paper is different than typing, the affects are different. I was told not to type it, i had to do it by hand. I tried this, at first there would be maybe 2 lines, but as i went on, it got easier and more writing just flowed out. When i am stuck, i use my left hand(non dominant) and let it go, you wouldn't believe how theraputic this was/is.
When i first did my writings, i would take them to her, she would glance at them while i left the planet. She would work on what i was feeling right now, in this moment, what was affecting me.
It was micro steps and sometimes she would be talking to herself for sessions, i just was not in that office, i was in my own world.
But it has got better, i now can talk about most of my past, yet some things to this day i have to write and still leave the planet while she skims it. One event that affected/s me i wrote it out(reluctantly) and mailed it, i could not have it in my possession, i was ill for that week knowing i had to face her,but i did it, because i want to heal.
Good luck, take it easy.

What you are going through is normal. it took me three months to open up to my therapist but once i did it was like a dam had been released and a flood of emotions came pouring out.

Be patient with yourself. you will know when the time is right to start talking.

I saw my psychologist today and we covered a lot of ground but not directly about my abuse. She wanted to know why I thought I had been using drugs, and I said I thought the three main reasons were loneliness, lack of being cared about, and lack of being loved.

We discussed the relationship that I have with my brother, and the possible reasons that we are having troubles. We also talked about the holidays, how I felt about them, and how my father reacted to them.

Toward the end of our session, I said that I knew we needed to talk about my sexual abuse sooner or later. I thanked her for not pushing me at this time. She said that I would know when the time was right.

I think that putting this off is shooting my anxiety level right through the roof, and it might be best to deal with this as soon as possible. I am going back again next Tuesday and maybe things will turn out better.

Thanks for your post, Jim.
I remember the first time I talked about the SA I experienced. I told my sister. It was an awful feeling and I was full of shame. She was very kind and understanding. I really think writing something down (as many have mentioned) is an excellent idea. Sometimes I share pretty intense poems with my therapist. It really helps her to see where I'm coming from. Good luck. Let us all know how the session goes...
jericabee