Do you see a therapist? If not I would suggest finding a good therapist who deals with childhood abuse and trauma. Start working with the therapist to prepare yourself to open up those memories. I feel you will need to fill a toolbox in your mind with skills you can use to keep yourself in the present and handle flashbacks etc.

I call it the going into the weeds and think of it like a diver in the water, there are thick heavy weeds at the bottom and to find the missing you have to go into them. However, being a diver with little air supply, you must plan for the trip in so you do not get tangled in the weeds and run out of air. If you get help planning you can go into the weeds and come back out with what was lost. Planning is the key.

((hugs))

It depends. Events that have been completely forgotten with no recollection, it is impossible to recall memories of it. However, from what you're saying, it sounds more like a repressed memory, since you can remember small parts. Repressed memories can be recovered with the help of a therapist, and sometimes they come out on their own. Be careful, some therapists will encourage false memories.

I agree with the others that this is something you should do with a therapist.

My advice would be: don't push too hard. There are about 6 months of my memory still missing, I only know bits and pieces, my medical file and the strange habits I developed afterwards. It's bloody frustrating, sure, from the information I have I know a rough outline of the picture, but I really want to remember.

So I did something very stupid. I tried to force myself to remember, spent hours chasing every bit of memory, deliberately exposed myself to every one of my triggers... Yeah, not a good idea. At all. I've now got a few pictures from the missing time span but not much.

I can completely understand wanting to remember that badly. I don't think that you're better off not knowing in general, but for the time being you might be. My counsellor told me that my memories would return when my psyche is realdy and stable enough for it. Go easy on yourself and make sure that on the journey of recovering those memories there are people whom you trust there for you.