Hello DopelessHopeFiend. Welcome to the forum and an early request for forgiveness on the weird places your handle is taking me. I get lost in metaphor easily and "Dopeless Hope Fiend" has quite allot of metaphorical potential.

Beehaving as best as I can. . .

Congrats on your 8 months of recovery. Empathy on the daily struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety and negative thinking. Thems is some mean running buddies. Support needed. I hope you find as much good support here as I have. We get by with a little help from our friends.

Welcome aboard.

Clever name :) I can't pretend to know how it feels to recover from that particular burden but anxiety, fear and negative thinking and I are old companions. I wish you the best in your recovery.

Hi! I also don't have any idea on that struggle except as an outside observer (family), but we're here and willing to listen (read).

Hey, welcome aboard this DS lifeboat. Hope you are in a 12 step group to get the support you need for the drugs. We are here to be with you through the rest of it. Comforting hugs.

Welcome aboard from me, too, dopelesshopefiend, it's great to add you to our little support network here. I listen to a comedian's podcast twice a week just to keep things light. He also happens to be in recovery from addiction, and once in a while he mentions support podcasts for addiction recovery. I think you can get them through iTunes, the way I get my comedian's podcast. Super congrats on the 8 months!

Welcome and congrats on sobriety.

Welcome and glad that you are here.

thank you all for the kind words i already feel like this is going to be a good place for me :)

Welcome to the group,
Congrats on eight months sober, that’s awesome :)
Hugs <3

thank you everyone seems very nice on here its been a really long hard journey. i feel bad that i struggle so hard to stay happy when i have been given so much after doing and being bad for so long i am so so grateful but i spend a lot of time being so depressed and disgusted with myself...im hoping to find some relief from reaching out

Every day is a new day and a fresh start. Good luck with your journey.

Hi @dopelesshopefiend, I have a few relatives who are dealing with overcoming drug addiction. Its a hard journey but from watching them my #1 recommendation is to make a new start in a new place far from where your past can haunt you. You deserve a fresh start without the reminders from your past. I know its hard to think of moving in the midst of struggle but I've seen it for years and it is very difficult to not fall back in with the comfortable crowd. One of my cousins moved away, married, got a successful job, built a beautiful house, and was living a new life. But he decided to come back home and visit for a few weeks because he was feeling lonely and during his visit he fell back into using with his old friends. He has since broke his parole and is serving time. I wonder if he had stayed away and stayed in counseling, stayed focused if today he would be living the dream instead of sitting behind bars. Please be strong and fight for your new life. You have been given a second chance. If you had cancer and was cured would you waste your life? I think people think escaping drug addiction is different but its a fight just like people who have to go through chemo and radiation. You've been given another chance make it count and show others it can be done. Your life has purpose.

Hi, Welcome and I agree with Cassie. Breaking habits and finding new ways to deal with life is HARD.

Heartfelt hugs, Patti