I'm really sorry, Cecil. I'm quite sure I -- and others -- understand.

Can you (sit still and breathe and) listen to music with a beat that's slower than your heart rate (like ... classical, for example) ?

Can you do yoga, or gentle stretching ?

Can you go for a walk, and try to time your breaths to your steps ... slow and easy ?

Are you in a physical/medical position to do any kind of more vigorous exercise ... like weights or push-ups or similar ... to try to burn off some adrenaline ?

Are you a reader -- books or e-books or audiobooks -- ??

Do you like to cook ? Clean ? Write ? Have any kind of crafting hobby ??

A long warm bath with essential oils and scented candles ?

It's infinitely complex and amazingly simple: we have to distract ourselves at times like this -- preferably in a non-destructive way -- and hope to slow our body so the mind will follow.

I wish you peace, health, and strength.

I think the photo shoot will do more good than you expect. The camera is a great mask to hide behind, there is always a reason to pull away from the group, or anyone that makes you uncomfortable.
Just going through the list of group shots needed , making them out in print. The parents, Grands, God parents if any, special one's that are of people that influence them? Also set a time for her and three close friends(more) to have some candid fun shots Knowing girls they may even coordinate for these, so it gives them time to gather accessories and changes as they need.. There are so many things you can use to ground. then email the list and ask for add or edits. Start working it now....the time inbetween the chosen shots can be used to walk around and gather candid shots of the party.

You know how to do this the way I know my art, even my own shoots have come at times not good for me. But I am stronger when I have my camera, a tool, armor in groups. Some people are dodgers they will need to escape if you raise and aim...poof! gone. I did a wedding three months after John passed, then another the week of my second anniversary without him, Neither were easy but it was like setting up my whole "Masquerade" in detail to get through them. But it help immensely.

Hugs, Cecil talk it out we are here.
Jewells

Yes...I have a treadmill I can use and the weather is fine so I can walk outside.

I should have mentioned that I need to focus and keep it together during my work day. I don't have a regular lunch time. Part of my day is spent on the road, part of it is spent with clients and some typing up reports. I work out in the field a lot so I guess I need something that can be done on the fly. I have to deal with some frustrating situations and stay calm. I never quite know what is going to come up.

Yesterday I went to do a home visit with a client and usually he meets me in the building lobby but he didn't come down. Then the fire dept and police showed up. Turns out a dead body was found in one of the apartments. I checked and it wasn't my client but it was on his floor. Finally I was able to go up to his apartment. I stepped off the elevator to be met with the smell of decomp and police with masks on. They hadn't moved the body yet.

That is not a typical day but it isn't so far off either. It isn't the first time I have been on a home visit and see a body bag going out the door.

Anyway...I need to get through my day. Things I can do in a subtle way to keep myself calm.

Thanks Jewells,
I hadn't thought of looking at the photo shoot as a way to shield myself from the social aspects.

Cecil I go to the calypso when needed. The stories shared feelings people there allowed a bit of fantasy when all seem so grey helps me. I am very visual as you are, so I need to be there to break some of them...set a ne w track to be on for a bit.

I am sorry you had that happen , I can almost feel the fear of just wondering, even the assault of the the senses . You do need to break those thoughts.

You know Calypso is like Neverland...it seems to be a place of epic creation at times. I hope you join us for a swim in the crystal waters, sunning on the deck? or even a bonfire on the beach mimosa's, or s'mores...what ever...at almost 800 comments strong it is pretty developed, even if all you do is read awhile. Blink yourself up some magic quarters to be able to ground in.
Hugs
J.

I saw somebody posted this on another board recently and I tried it - it's very easy to do. I wasn't in an emotional state when I tried it so I can't comment on the effect.

http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/VDR00112/The-4-7-8-Breath-Benefits-and-Demonstration.html

Depression and anger... that combo might call for working it out. Exercise is actually recommended for depression, and that also works out the anger. Do you run? dance? pound clay or dough? play drums? some way to let it out and then get up and move on

I know this seems opposite to what some others are suggesting, but this works for me when I've got anger stuffed into a depression. Anxiety is adrenalin too, so the exercise works that out too.

here are a couple of fast songs that help me express this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0CvinxRQvI

Moving to music like this helps to express these emotions in a controlled way.

The Lord of the Dance is another one that helps me.. here is Michael Flatly doing Feet of Flames from Lord of the Dance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdVF2pefNpg

umm this one is actually the whole thing.. an hour long.. it's a story about the battle between good and evil over little ones. My feet start dancing while I'm sitting in the chair,, and I get all psyched up,, because good wins over evil and the little ones are rescued.

Donna, Thanks for the link. I tried it and I could feel some of the tension leave. It is something I can do at work easily.

xa1nbowxR, You are right. Moving and exercising do help. It's hard to believe but 5 years ago I was at the gym 6 days a week. Those are all good suggestions.

The breathing trick dr weil advocates is great, I've done a version since about 1977. Another great tool done with it or separately is progressive muscle relaxation which has been a "thing" since the 1950s and works very well.

http://www.guidetopsychology.com/pmr.htm and youtube has a bunch of good demonstrations.

practice the breathing and PMR daily, twice if you can. and use any time at the first HINT of stress being triggered.

DONT THINK OF AN ELEPHANT is a great book on mindfulness exercises for when you have time

Sometimes I need to do things to relax and calm.. like with anxiety,, but with depression it's the opposite.. and with anger.. I have to work that out.. cuz there's a reason for that anger that I have to deal with,, and also a reason why I tend to block the expression of anger... one is that I don't want to hurt anybody.