Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
My kidney specialist is trying to track down the source of some internal bleeding that's weakening me along with my chronic kidney disease. I'm starting to have benign medical procedures that, benign though they may be, are invasive. The one last week was a simply prostate exam.
**TRIGGER ALERT""
But for me as for others, any kind of medical exam via that area of the body brings up violating sensations to mind. They stir up memories of when I was molested by a pedophile as a child.
I made it through last week's prostate exam ok (yes, I'm a male survivor of rape), with some humor I was able to muster toward the technician who had the hose plugged into me while looking at my prostate on her screen.
Next Monday is the colonoscopy. I know these are routine procedures for millions of people, and I'm not here feeling sorry for myself. I'm also very grateful to have the medical benefits through work to pay for it.
I just hoped that here at this DS PTSD site I could be heard saying that, grateful as I am and necessary as this test it, an invasive procedure like this still triggers my PTSD. If anyone out there has had this procedure and has PTSD from surviving rape like me, please let me share your wisdom about going through it all in the "now" and with as little damage to the psyche as possible. I would appreciate your coming up along side me. The procedure is scheduled for Monday Feb. 4th. Prayers welcome.
Thanks, friends.
Mujicaptsd
**TRIGGER ALERT""
But for me as for others, any kind of medical exam via that area of the body brings up violating sensations to mind. They stir up memories of when I was molested by a pedophile as a child.
I made it through last week's prostate exam ok (yes, I'm a male survivor of rape), with some humor I was able to muster toward the technician who had the hose plugged into me while looking at my prostate on her screen.
Next Monday is the colonoscopy. I know these are routine procedures for millions of people, and I'm not here feeling sorry for myself. I'm also very grateful to have the medical benefits through work to pay for it.
I just hoped that here at this DS PTSD site I could be heard saying that, grateful as I am and necessary as this test it, an invasive procedure like this still triggers my PTSD. If anyone out there has had this procedure and has PTSD from surviving rape like me, please let me share your wisdom about going through it all in the "now" and with as little damage to the psyche as possible. I would appreciate your coming up along side me. The procedure is scheduled for Monday Feb. 4th. Prayers welcome.
Thanks, friends.
Mujicaptsd
I wish at this moment I could say something that would make it all ok. I know that is not possible. But I will say keep focusing on the positive of these test providing you with good health. Keep focusing on the fact these are common health procedures and nothing more. When you go into the test, start thinking of your favorite song, funny moments, and anything to distract you from what is going on.
Wishing you all the best
Focus on present tense. The medical people will be good kind people looking out for you.
What C.C. is saying is also spot on. So many people would avoid it all together, which would be in effect handing over your power to do something about your current issue.
Sorry about your pooch, guayaba. I read what you wrote under that other topic about his not doing so well.
Blessings.
Luckily I block out the trauma but it's lead to a lot more memory loss than I would otherwise like in the rest of my life. And it's never that I'm a player but I can't remember even the names of my boyfriends at times when I've been put on the spot, or coworkers and it's either Alzheimer's, or due to trauma.
I too have sever attacks and triggers with certain necessary exams. I find it helpful to tell them ahead of time... make sure the nurses and doctors understand. One time a nurse goddess decided to turn on music that made me feel better- more in charge. A lot of times honestly I just close my eyes and wish I was somewhere else. I just go through all the stages of my inner demons. But the music was so helpful. The next time I was allowed to wear earphones- I had the music very very low so that I was in complete control of the room still. .. An image of your favorite painting. Of a place that you adore. Plan something comforting afterwards. Bring something comforting and small... It helps... You are not alone with dealing with this. I too struggle to find ways to have simple check ups and procedures not so damaging to my psyche. Remember that you always have the power in the room. Even though the medical language is beyond us and the Dr always seem so in control- you can always always change whats going on. Even though that seems so simple so ridiculous to say- telling myself that really helps calm my breathing.
May you be well, may you be at peace, may you feel my warm and healing thoughts.
By how you describe how your mind/body response was to those barium enemas you had, I know you're aware of how even a necessary medical invasive procedure in that area of the body can send me to a dark, adrenalinized place. It's a place I've only gone to before with doctors who were PTSD therapists.
It was worth going there with therapists, because I'm able to face it for myself, be here, and talk about it with others. But these docs on Monday aren't therapists, so it's new for me to think about communicating about this painful memory in mind/body with them as non-PTSD medical personnel. I appreciate our good therapists who are trained in sensitivity to talk through this stuff with us in our sessions even more now that I'm thinking about how to talk to good docs who are specialists but not in our PTSD area.
I also appreciate DS PTSD and you friends a fellow travelers even more, too. Bless you all.
After I went under general anesthesia, it was fine. I'm sore now, and I have to go again in 6 months. But with the support I got here, I know I can. It's important that we nail down the source of my slow internal bleeding since i have chronic kidney disease. I had avoided this procedure until now, but we deserve all the treatment others get, don't we? And with you support, today I got it. Thanks, everybody.