Yes. Yes. And yes. Me too. Just about every morning I too ruminate and contemplate. I really do get stuck in my own head! Sometimes it seems unbearable! And it’s like exacerbating the problem when others seem not to understand. So your friend/s have lost patience. Understand that they have most likely not suffered like you and your journey is your own journey. And? You may be taking personally “that” which is not. Assuming? Mind reading? Remember life for them may not be rosy either and maybe they are distracted or wantin* to have a good scream themselves? So? It might be them not you. You are going to need to become and to be your own best friend. Start by attempting to redirect those self defeating thoughts your feeling about being worthless etc. Each of us has gifts and value and we must remember to embrace these positive things to help us remember that we are worthy and good and that we can feel good about ourselves and give ourselves permission to appreciate and love ourselves. Take some time to realize your own gifts and praise yourself. For example... let’s say you feel empathy for someone going through a hard time? That’s something to embrace it’s a positive attribute. It’s wonderful. You’re such a caring person! See? You are worthy. There is good in you and you must learn to love yourself. Others come and they go, on their own journeys or with their own goals. They can’t be depended upon. You know this. I know you struggle here as do I. Keep at it and when the gloom settles in do your best to think of your gifts and also of things that gave you joy in the distant past. That joy will be yours again but it will be more real as your love for yourself will allow you to experience that joy more fully... In a nutshell it amounts to being your own best friend. And who better for the job? Right??

Thank you it nice to have someone understand. I need to think of the positives more sometimes its just hard to do so. I appreciate you responding it makes a lot of sence. I have talked to them a lot about my issues but they don't
understand so I can see how that's hard. Bless you

Here with you, you’re not alone & please never give up
( I would write more but my migraines making my mind too foggy atm)
Keep reaching out, you’re worth it
Gentlest of gentlest hugs <3

Thank you lilmissy7. I'm trying just a rough day

Hey, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Thank you for reaching out. Please don't give up. You've already made it so far, and you have so much worth. That feeling is a hard one to deal with, and sometimes even live with, but you're not alone. We're here for you. If you ever need to talk, message me. I hear where you're coming from. I'm sorry someone treated you that way. You're not being dramatic; you're struggling. It's valid for you to feel this way. You're doing great! Best wishes,
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I’m sorry you’re struggling right now Toughassteele. It’s never easy for us. And people not understanding is so damaging. I went through a similar experience with a family member this spring. The hardest part of it was that of all the people who I thought would be there for me, she was at the top of the list. We always were so close and as both my sister & I suffer from PTSD and my sister is also very close to her, I never expected that she would react as she did when my symptoms were at their most severe. She even has several friends with PTSD. But as I was going through one crisis to the next, she became so unsupportive, telling me to get over it, that my anaphylactic shock & cardiac arrest wasn’t traumatic, even at one point telling me I didn’t have anaphylaxis just sensitivities. As forgiving as I’ve tried to be with her, it’s completely damaged our relationship. We used to talk everyday but now we don’t talk to each other at all. And honestly, I’m terrified of her. I don’t want to be angry with her or hate her but I can’t get over the feeling of being abandoned and at times attacked by her when I needed her most.

I wish people would learn what should be said & what shouldn’t to people healing from PTSD. Unfortunately it’s different for each of us but calling us drama queens or saying get over it just is disastrous for us.

I spent so much time trying to explain the symptoms of PTSD to my family member, and I tried to remember a lot of my feelings, my reactions to her comments, especially those that were out of line, were often worsened by my PTSD. It’s so hard to know when we’re in crisis the difference between someone actually negatively affecting us & the times where because of what we’re going through we just take things completely out of context. It’s gets so hard to figure out the reality. I spend hours everyday trying during that time and months later I still don’t know.

I’ve found being open about what ptsd is & how it affects me specifically has sometimes helped. Often most people just don’t know enough about PTSD to realize the damage they can to us. Some people..., can’t handle what we’re going through, they can’t handle knowing, & often it’s because they can’t handle seeing us in so much pain and feeling helpless to do anything for us. My husband struggles with that a lot when I’m triggered. Some people just want it to be over, for it to just go away & so we can be the person they know and understand again.

I don’t know. I’m probably not being very helpful. I’m sorry Toughassteele.

Still I’m here for you. Sending hugs, support & comfort!

Thank you your being very supportive. I'm still trying to some what control my triggers but it's hard. I just hate when I'm trying to explain to him about my ptsd he tells me to calm down and so on it kills me. Today I had so much going through my head it was making me crazy. Thank you all for being here it really has helped. It means the world to me

I was extra tired and in extra pain this week from Monday until Wednesday night. All the time. Fortunately, work I'd done the previous week gave this exhausted work week enough momentum I was able to get through this one dragging this far. Took lots of Tylenol for my pain, kidney disease won't let me take aspirin or other painkillers.

You can imagine what this did for my spirits, for my world view and attitude toward life.

The thing is, I've been through this before, and when I acted on it I quit a university job with tenure and filed for 2 divorces. Then I regained some strength and got a brief break from the pain and regretted basing my decisions on my energy level and on my pain level.

It's not that my low energy level and pain isn't real. It's because I only have 40% kidney function left, so I only have that much oxygen in my blood for energy. The lack of oxygen causes nerves to die and malfunction, so I get burning pain and numbness all the time, too.

I live alone, so there's no one to help me when I get home after making it through a day at work. That gets depressing sometimes, which triggers my PTSD. That's when I come here, because I know I'm not alone in struggling with all of this.

Sorry you're going through all of this, too, Toughassteele. But I'm glad you shared, because it let me know I'm not alone and that in itself gave me the support I need today. Please know I'm sending you all of my support back to you, too.