Hi, welcome.

It is so hard to say when or if it will end. I shoot for improvement and change in healing.

Sorry for your pain.

thank you I agree. it is for the most part an improvement but then you remember and feel it all over again. sucks. they will never understand it

If it keeps on then you add another letter to the PTSD though I don’t think it’s a promotion. Seems that’s the way of things, I used to be only depressed now I’m major clinically depressed, sounds like a military title of rank yeah and it smells rank from here from so long ago the whole thing should have erased itself but no it still knows me and when best to strike. As you see it’s tough to let go of it and even tougher to have it let you go....

I hope you feel better.

Hugs. Keep busy and stay strong.

Sorry, that part of me died when I was 9 and a homemade gasoline bomb hit my family car. I'm 59, so I don't remember a normal world before PTSD 50 years ago. When I shampoo my hair I still do feel the dent in the back of my skull when I hit my head after the blast.

I'm just glad I've managed to keep going this long. It got worse after age 9. In that war zone where we were missionaries overseas, that was just the beginning of the war. What followed in the fog of war for the next 6 years were sexual assaults by a military predator when I was 11, so I never had adult consensual sex as a virgin.

Then when I was 15 my parents snapped with their untreated PTSD, but bars on my bedroom window, and took turns beating each other and beating me in there. At 17 I got out of there, but 8 years of constant trauma was hard wired into me as CPTSD.
http://pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD.html

Healing for me is being as high-functioning as I can be, not getting unsuffering. I'd like to unsuffer and have it all unhappen, but it would take away 5/6 of my lifetime to got back that far, so it's like wishing I were somebody else. I could develop multiple personalities, I have friends on here who did, and that's one way to cope with that much trauma for that long. I totally get that. But I decided to try the acceptance route, and it's a work still in progress but I'm still here and at the moment functioning at a high level.

So that's healing for me. I know it's accepting chronic PTSD, not cured PTSD, and for some here that's not enough. I'd be happy for a cure, but until then that's healing for me and daily strength is the key to it, so that's why I come here.

Much support to you.

gentle support. it helps me so much to be a part of here. coming here, finding here and these, now friends, has been life changing for me. i hope it will be for you too.

there is nothing like being understood and accepted and that is what i found here - so much more. Welcome to the group

Thank you all. Very much needed the support.

HurtingWife77, i've been coming here for nearly 5 yrs now, and i've had time to work thru some of my stuff. it took time for me to get to a place when i felt safe, i think that's the best word for it for me, i felt safe enough over time here, to begin to feel some of the hard things and begin to deal with them a bit.

i have tried counseling a little here and there; it is difficult to find a good fit and i haven't yet. i have made a little progress though, between the counselors attempts and the incredible support here, and i'll say my willingness to go there with myself into some really hard places.

all this to share with you something good that got shared with me one time. this was a big deal to me and matters a lot.

some one told me this - and i found it to be true.

there are times during therapy or working thru things when we/i found myself achieving a time of ...well being, feeling good for awhile :O) i felt better and felt like i got someplace. it does happen.