A couple nights ago, despite Clonazepam and Ambien, I was up almost all night, feeling like I'd had 50 cups of coffee.

Can't be sure why.

But ... like you ... I chewed off my nails -- something I never do.

And now my fingers hurt, and -- like you -- they look a fright.

I'm doing all I can, now to self-soothe: stretching, listening to music, will try to take a walk, deep breathing/meditation.

Whatever it was/is ... it sucks. I suspect we all have similar episodes, no matter how they manifest themselves in each of us, individually.

I'm really sorry.

I wish you peace, health, strength, and ... a quick healing to all the "self-harm" effects.

I wish that for both of us :-)

I am wondering...are you off meds by choice or were they no longer doing it, doing too much?
Your description was me, when my ortho took me off anxiety meds for 10 days. While also cutting my anti-inflammatory meds out. So I had no mood control and more overall pain, deep joint pain. Which made anxiety kick up higher, with no help.
Part withdrawal part more need, but cut off from sources.
I lost it in his office, at check up appt.

Been off therapy and any med for 4 years now...:/

My first reaction to your post was that my wife had these exact same problems and she found it was caused by menopause. Hers started at 35 and she's 56 now and still going through it. If I remember correctly a blood test to measure estrogen levels should tell for sure.
Here a link for symptoms and since you don't take meds I'm assuming you don't want to and there lots of naturals products out there to help with this. Hope this helps, Blaine
www.34-menopause-symptoms.com

Yeah, I was thinking of that, too, WB.

How's your diet???

Sorry you're feeling so lousy. Geez. Off meds and therapy at once? That would be a lot for me to take on. Do you have to be off both right now?

Lets see...

I haven't taken any meds or therapy for 4 years, therapist said I'm more functional than most, so nothing more to do, and no need for meds.

I'm a lil too young for menopause (or a lot, actually)

I watch and limit stimulants, if not totally stay away

They tested thyroid a few years back, I should have them look again. I have a dr appt Monday, I will ask then.

It just concerns me,because besides the obvious looking like a lunatic, I wonder if I'm sliding back into being really sick again...after 4 years of being, well at least looking normal. That would suck.

Thx for the well wishes and food for thought.

I went through this is 2010-2011, ending my 10 years as a hospital chaplain. I tested for thyroid, too. Then it was discovered it was kidney disease so my docs took me off meds on doctor's orders March 2012. I went through some withdrawal since I'd been on meds since 1985, but I didn't have any severe withdrawal symptoms.

That's when my doc got me to come to DS PTSD. The support here is my daily meds replacement, under the circumstances. So far I couldn't be happier.

I've been high functioning like you are, too, and have been able to work a new job for 2 years now. My nightmare scenario was that I would have the symptoms you describe. I did have them back in 2000, and ended up in the hospital for 4 days and lost a job back then from it. I did get the hospital chaplain job the next year, but 2000 was even scarier than 2010-2011.

I know how trapped you feel. I wish I had the answer. I'd go to a doc if it were me--as I did. In the meantime, keep us close and keep us posted. You're not alone. Even if we're not there now, you can see from me and David and others that we've been there, too.

My meno started early 38, done by 45. My doctor said stress/anxiety may have made it come on early