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Tomorrow's when this yearly job evaluation of mine a the college where I teach is due, and my boss had me come in to talk to her today. I said in posts earlier this week about this process that I have high evaluation numbers of 4 out of 5 across the board.
But my boss noticed in written comments that some students think I'm a terrific listener. Then others write in the same class that I'm rude because I call on them and wait for an answer instead of going on to another student. She wanted me to write an explanation for that for my eval tomorrow.
Whew. I realize I don't do small talk a lot since I got into PTSD recovery. I wait and allow "dead air" when talking with people. Some people love that I don't interrupt or put words in their mouth. Others just hate it.
Not just in classrooms, but on dates too, back when I used to date. Some dates thought I was the best listener they ever met, never interrupting like others do. Others wanted to kill me for making them endure awkward silences.
I'm definitely good hospital chaplain material, but awful cocktail party material. SInce PTSD recovery I'm too intense and that's both good for some and bad for others. No middle ground. I'm going to have to find some middle ground if I want to get tenure as a college instructor.
Ever get told you're "a great listener" and then also that you're "too intense?"
But my boss noticed in written comments that some students think I'm a terrific listener. Then others write in the same class that I'm rude because I call on them and wait for an answer instead of going on to another student. She wanted me to write an explanation for that for my eval tomorrow.
Whew. I realize I don't do small talk a lot since I got into PTSD recovery. I wait and allow "dead air" when talking with people. Some people love that I don't interrupt or put words in their mouth. Others just hate it.
Not just in classrooms, but on dates too, back when I used to date. Some dates thought I was the best listener they ever met, never interrupting like others do. Others wanted to kill me for making them endure awkward silences.
I'm definitely good hospital chaplain material, but awful cocktail party material. SInce PTSD recovery I'm too intense and that's both good for some and bad for others. No middle ground. I'm going to have to find some middle ground if I want to get tenure as a college instructor.
Ever get told you're "a great listener" and then also that you're "too intense?"
Congrats on the awesome comments:-)
But those who hate it really hate it violently and are very vocal about it. Those are the evaluation comments my boss wants me to write an answer to.
Any suggestions are truly welcomed. I have until 2:30pm Wednesday, and feel a little under the gun on such short notice.
I think I'm headed to keeping this job for the long term. But I lost a job to PTSD symptoms in 2011. I spent a lot of that year unemployed all alone. I moved halfway across the country for this job and I've held on to it for 3 years now. So now I'd like to come up with the best answer I can on this yearly evaluation for this job.
Don't be shy with suggestions. I'm not kidding. Thanks.
And I totally agree looney1. Can't please everyone all the time.
i thinks it's because i have dark eyes.
intense eyes does not an intense person make, but they don't quite put that particular two-and-two together.
But as a teacher you need to give them time to process the question and formulate the words that show they understand the concepts. Also you need to spread the attention to their understanding around, since you would like all of your students to finish the class with a good understanding.
If the same question stumps everyone, then more detail on it needs to be discussed. Not jumping in too fast, lets you understand how much they really understood.
Student that jumps in the seat here.
J.
Alan, I like the sticking to your professional tone when I write this up in the morning. Jewells, mind if I cut and paste some of what you wrote, too? No kidding, folks. The classes I teach tomorrow begin at 9am, so I'll get up at 7am to write this up and that'll be it. 2:30pm will come fast.
If you don't mind my using your words, I'd appreciate it.
I also get the intense thing b/c I have very dark eyes.
Wishing you well!
THANKS FOR EVERYBODY'S SUPPORT GETTING THIS OUT HERE INSTEAD OF BLURTING OUT SOMETHING PARANOID TO MY BOSS.
You really even me out. Bless you all for what you do for me here.
When teaching there will be students that like your style and then there will be students that do not like your style.
But is that a reflection on your talents? Heck no, have you noticed our younger generations and what kind of mind set they have? Have you noticed our younger generations, enjoying to place others in misery?
I sure have.
I would not let any so called superior from work convince me that what some people not like should be my fault to begin with.
Most people, especially younger ones, and ones that have not had good parenting, do not accept paying respect, do not accept being gracious, and have a lot of faults that others can not correct anymore.
And your boss is actually placing you into a doubting phase because of the behavior of others. Simply because you allow more time between sentences? Am I the only one who finds that ridiculous?
Let me write the answer to your boss. Would love to put her in the place that she belongs in.
If it's typed, and ready. Take one last look for wording, then email it.
Keep a copy for yourself and relax. That's what's cool about technology. You will only have to meet long enough to satisfy the requirement, but your cards are on the table already.
Thank her for any insight she has ( this is important, read as:stroking her ego) ...And ask what kind of donuts would she like you to pick up on the way.
Hugs Muji.
J.