Over the weekend I was looking for some songs of comfort and validation concerning the kind sort of experiences we share here at DS PTSD about being survivors of chaos as kids. I found this song that talked about a lot of things we share about here.
I left a dysfunctional home at age 17 to put 5,000 miles between me and its violent chaos so I could start healing. Wow, does this song ever speak for me!
I thought I’d share it in case it spoke for somebody else here, too. It’s from an album called “Screaming for My Supper” that has lots of other very honest, insightful Beth Hart songs on it about lives like ours, too. At least like mine.
Her name is real, “Hart,” but I find it to be a real coincidence because she’s got lots of “heart” in her songs. This one speaks for my heart, and maybe for somebody else’s, too.
Leave the Light On by Beth Hart
“17 and I'm all messed up inside/I cut myself just to feel alive/I leave the light on
21 on the run on the run on the run from myself/From myself and everyone/I leave the light on/I leave the light on/Better leave the light on
Cause I wanna love I wanna live/I don't know much about it I never did/I don't know what to do/Can the damage be undone
I ain't that bad I'm just messed up/I ain't that sad but I'm sad enough…God bless the child with the dirty face”
I love how it ends with the contemporary grown-up self in the song looking back honestly and yet being so gentle and forgiving about confused, hard feelings in the past: “I ain’t that bad I’m just messed up…God bless the child.”
I'm currious to know: is this helpful to anybody else about learning to be gentle with yourself about the trauma you've been through?
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