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I moved, over a year ago, and haven't made any friends in my "new" area yet. Work really takes it out of me (having to be "on" for 10 hours a day) so I'm unmotivated to join clubs or go where ever it is that people go to make friends.
I know I would be better off if I had people to hang out with but I'm so resistant to getting out there.
Has anyone else had to over come this? How did you do it? I have a lot of interests but I just don't feel like I belong, or that I'm good enough to be with others. I prefer to hide at home but can also see that life is passing me by. I want to take my life back ... but I don't know how.
I know I just need to DO IT ... but I don't know how. Help... please?
I know I would be better off if I had people to hang out with but I'm so resistant to getting out there.
Has anyone else had to over come this? How did you do it? I have a lot of interests but I just don't feel like I belong, or that I'm good enough to be with others. I prefer to hide at home but can also see that life is passing me by. I want to take my life back ... but I don't know how.
I know I just need to DO IT ... but I don't know how. Help... please?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Motivate yourself by something other than pressure of a social situation (which I think is safe to say we all struggle with). Make it about you (we make ourselves do things like grocery shopping because it's a necessity so we need to think of our complete overall health), taking care of you (going to the local rec center for a de-stressing swim), and doing something for enjoyment ( learn cake decorating at a craft store that has free classes) or something proactive for your personal situation. (like a budgeting class through a local credit counseling agency)
I find it helps when I think of doing things for a "purpose". I don't know exactly how to put it... does that make sense?
I am trying to find some friends through church, and maybe some of my kids friends parents.
I have thought about doing crafty classes, but haven't done it yet.
Joining the YMCA maybe??
I had a lot of work friends when I worked, and I still stay in touch by phone periodically. Most live further North than I do, to make going out feasible.
no one that i hang out with..or phone..
it is really hard....i try..but i just get way too anxious and never know if they are 'okay' or if something will happen.
plus, if they SEE what i deal with, i'm not sure they'd stick around anyway....
I'd hang with ya! Any chance you're in northern cal???
I hear you say you'd "be better off" with friends, but I don't hear you say you *want* friends. There's a big difference between thinking we ought to have them to be like everyone else, and actually desiring to uphold a friendship relationship.
Personally, I've come to terms that I don't want to "deal with" close friendships. Too much drama and pressure. I have a lot of acquaintances and get along fine with folks at work, but don't have a single friend I'd call and go out with for the day.
And I'm good with that. I prefer my own company, that of my husband and my dogs, and the spirit of the woods where we live. In my mind, people would just interfere.
Not sure if you feel that way or not, but if you do, it's okay to be a loner, as long as it makes you happy. If it DOESN'T make you happy, then it's time to get out there and let friendships happen.
Folks have had some great suggestions here already. I'll add one more: Find a shop or store in your area that sells stuff you love. Like horses? Find a tack shop. Like art? Find an art supply store. Make it a point to visit the store at least weekly. Keep your eyes and ears open, and you're bound to meet other people with the same interests. ;-)
Meanwhile, online friends and groups like this one can really help. I've met some great friends online, and don't feel the same pressures with them as I would if they were knocking on my door at home.
Blessings,
Wistala