Well I have chronic sinusitis and it sux…. I had a headache today and a nosebleed so I think that's a valid reason IMHO

You've been going through an awful lot lately Arf that would cause a great deal of anxiety for anyone and it's hard to want to do social things for me if I'm struggling

So what is valid vs excuse..... I suppose for me it would depend on how important you want to make this outing for yourself.....

If it's to help combat isolating perhaps it should be high on the list of no TV show is more important and this is part of my therapeutic regime?

For sure, my isolating symptoms are roaring. Isolating is high on my list of psycho bad girls. At best, I am independent to a fault. Accepting the physical symptoms as a valid reason to miss this outing gets me boo-hooing down the line of, "Every time I try, I *just* get knocked down. Plan on it."

Poor, poor, pitiful me. . .

Self-pity is about the only class I pity I tolerate well. If you want a job done right, do it yourself.

Something about growing up with Antarctic winter weather blowing up from the south to hit Uruguay's coast every year made me permanently vulnerable to sinusitis, too. Over time it's gotten worse such that this past summer, of all seasons, you may recall that I collapsed in my classroom with pneumonia and had to spend 4 days in the hospital.

Staying in can be isolation or it can be self care. From what you say here, arfie, I'd say the latter. You didn't totally isolate; you came here.

Thank you for the validation, Muji. That is my own conclusion for last night, and still going today. The worst part of sinusitis is some truly devilish critters breed happily in clogged sinuses while the immune system is being over-taxed from the first mucus build-up.

Still. . . Virtual Reality can't replace eye contact and a flesh and blood hug.

Got nags?

Great question. I also can come up with reasons, but have found the need to weigh out if I have devised an excuse or it is legitimate. Sometimes procrastination takes care of it. This meeting sounds like a valid set of reasons not to push. Just my opinion.

Your post is hitting home as last year I missed a PTSD group programme at the hospital and had the flu. When they rearranged me for the summer one, I had another excuse, the therapist at that time said I was not ready. My excuses were preventing me from becoming a different person with more tools. She hit my intuition with that, I was surprised as I was really sick in the winter. I suspect I willed myself this way as I had a pattern of that, boy the brain is powerful
long story short, I went and it was life transforming in how I see and relate to myself.
Here is how to tell fear from true gut, use your reasoning skills. What are the pros and cons of going? The brain will override what we feel is a bad gut and in fact fear. However, you will know if it is not the right time too.

PS Just got over the sinus thing too, I took lots of vitamins C, echinacea and ran a lot as it cleared my head and helped the immune system

Evil albeit sniffley grin. . .
Me? Run? Even if you are chasing me, my style would be to turn around and use your own admirable physics against you. Force = mass times acceleration squared. Gotcha!

Attempted humor aside. . .

Still pondering while I continue to nurse the sinus woes that made me glad I didn't push myself last night. In my own isolating herstory, I believe I have made myself physically ill more than once in the name of evasion and isolation. Am I delusional to believe I have more than enough strength of will to pull that one off with psychosomatic ease?

Oh for the love of balance and clarity. . . Why can't life be simple?

I’m glad you posted this Arfie because recently I’ve been having trouble actively participating in the group on DS. Sometimes it seems for valid reasons and sometimes I wonder if I’ve just been coming up with excuses.

I’m not sure how to decide. Recently the aggressiveness of PTSD has been wrecking havoc with my interaction with anything. Even DS has at times become a trigger and I’ve had to mainly stick to journaling instead of being part of the group. Suddenly I’ve found myself terrified to post publicly, to read posts and comments and I don’t know why but too many days just reading posts cause the panic to set in and my thoughts screaming.

But your question makes me wonder if that is why I’ve been coming up with more excuses to no longer post and even a reason for the increased discomfort in journaling. Is it avoidance, isolating myself, fear of others?

Still sorting this one out but I’m really glad you posted this. Thank you, Arfie. Hugs & love!

I still waffle allot on where to fit DS in on the scheme of this particular theme. Is it therapy or just another social media addiction? When I hopped on here instead of pushing myself out the door for Wednesday's real-time social event, was it anything more than a self-medication to help me isolate for another week? Is the e-bonding a substitusky for eye-contact and flesh-and-blood hugs?

For sure, the journaling is my most time-tested and honored therapy tool. My paper journal was my first therapy homework assignment in 1972 and I don't see its shift to digital formats as highly significant. The free-flow venting and sorting are the cathartic benefit. It triggers me to regression when the aggressive advice-givers invade my therapy journal, but that trigger, too, is in need of therapy. I take my triggering as a sign that my own strictly personal psych herstory of aggressive advice-giving is only repressed, not remedied. It was (is?) one of my meaner strictly personal psych symptoms.

Thanks for sorting along, Vltava. It helps.

I think the difference is acceptance. I find most of life is pretty subjective. One man’s junk, another’s treasure. One’s excuse, another’s validity. That being said, there is also absolute truth. Hmmm I guess this is a good discussion and I’m still not sure if it’s valid or excusatory.. more pondering to come , I’m sure. Good luck.

Yea, that subjectivity is one of the phenom that drive me crazier. Can't we just pick one and make ^it^ work like proper control freaks?

Sigh. . .

Back to the ponder chair. . .

sigh. I am gonna make my ponder chair a rocker cause I might be there a while with this one. hugs

Will that make you a ponder rocker?