Harry, there is no such thing as a "good" person or a "bad" person- just actions that we take which are harmful or not harmful towards ourselves or others. None of us suffer from the mental illness of PTSD "on purpose." We have experienced trauma, and not yet processed through it completely. Perhaps we will always be somewhat "damaged" from the hurt we have experienced, but we do heal if we keep working through our pain to the source of our reactions.

I have shared that I am a practicing Zen Buddhist. Buddha identified himself as a "physician" not as a religious icon. He said: "I teach only about suffering and the healing of suffering." I have found his teaching highly beneficial in dealing with all the trauma I have suffered. You can explore his best teachings through lectures by the late Alan Watts on You Tube, as well as Jack Kornfield, who presently teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center.

Sending you loving energy for your health and healing today!

It makes sense to me that you'd search for a reason why you have PTSD, harrypotter. It's something I've done, too. In therapy I had to work on forgiving myself for "being available" to be a victim to my perpetrator. Even though he was an adult pedophile and we 5 kids he attacked were elementary school kids, still I was blaming myself for having been there for him to attack.

In therapy we talked about how that's a defense I created against the randomness of it all. Sometimes for me the randomness was harder to accept. That something completely life altering to me forever could have happened to me or to anybody else, it didn't make any difference to the pedophile. We were just interchangeable objects to him, not individual and unique people. That was his sickness.

If it's a friend that you trust...then it may be worth fighting through the pain of your friend's words to listen to what he's saying. (Your real life friend....may know you better than anyone...because they see you in real life.)


If it's not a friend that you trust, or who may have motives other than helping you....thank him politely and tell him that you're following the advice of your therapist (or doctor, or anyone....make up a person if you have to.)

There are people that you owe the Truth to (wife, close friends, etc.), but there are also a whole lot of people you do NOT owe the truth to (random people you know, coworkers, etc.) For those people...you owe them no explanation at ALL.

I have cPTSD, and I can't follow things that string together without end. I hope you are well.

HP, he does not understand PTSD. You explain how you feel and he says no. Nobody is entitled to question the validity of whatever another person feels. Nor can telling someone to feel or believe something different make it happen. He doesn't seem to get that. He wants you to see yourself as he does, and he obviously cares about you, but just went about it the wrong way. We fix ourselves with the help of others, including being on DS where we are understood. Hugs.

How're you doing today, harrypotter?