Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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Has anyone ever had flashbacks in public?
I've struggled with this in the past. After my trauma I now suffer from frequent flashbacks and sometimes they happen in public. My episodes usually result in me screaming for hours, unable to recognize anyone around me. I become totally lost in the memories of my abuse.
I was at an outpatient center after I was released from the hospital and I got triggered while I was there. I began feeling violated, dirty, and worthless. I began reliving every traumatic experience in my life all in one instant. I could do nothing but drop to the floor and try to "get the dirt off."
Everyone was watching. I ran to the bathroom and began pouring hand sanitizer on myself and hot water and began scrubbing my skin in a desperate attempt to get clean from my abuse. I couldn't get clean enough.
I then began screaming. The therapist at the outpatient center took me to the ER where they kept me for two days before placing me in a psychiatric hospital. It was my 11th time in the hospital that year.
Still, I was fading in and out of flashbacks even when at the hospital. That was when I was diagnosed formally with PTSD.
Usually any graphic descriptions of sexual assault trigger me. While I was in the hospital a girl I met began describing her experience to me. I lost it in front of everyone. I began screaming and scratching myself. It went on for hours. The staff had me restrained. Fortunately all the staff was female and very sweet to me. As I was being restrained they told me they were all mothers and told me about their children. It calmed me so much. They then brought me soda and snacks with a blanket. I got to eat next to the nurse's station.
But, everyone was watching like it was an episode of Jerry Springer. It was as though it was entertainment and I felt so angry. It felt violating to be watched during such a vulnerable moment.
No one knew what I was going through. They spread a rumor in the unit that I was "split personality." That "my other personality" came out when I screamed.
I ended up apologizing to everyone in group therapy and telling people that I was a victim of abuse and relive my trauma vividly. Everyone felt bad and said sorry to me.
It's so embarrassing to have flashbacks in front of people. During them I don't even know who is around me until I calm down. But afterwards it feels quite awful.
Has anyone had this happen?
I've struggled with this in the past. After my trauma I now suffer from frequent flashbacks and sometimes they happen in public. My episodes usually result in me screaming for hours, unable to recognize anyone around me. I become totally lost in the memories of my abuse.
I was at an outpatient center after I was released from the hospital and I got triggered while I was there. I began feeling violated, dirty, and worthless. I began reliving every traumatic experience in my life all in one instant. I could do nothing but drop to the floor and try to "get the dirt off."
Everyone was watching. I ran to the bathroom and began pouring hand sanitizer on myself and hot water and began scrubbing my skin in a desperate attempt to get clean from my abuse. I couldn't get clean enough.
I then began screaming. The therapist at the outpatient center took me to the ER where they kept me for two days before placing me in a psychiatric hospital. It was my 11th time in the hospital that year.
Still, I was fading in and out of flashbacks even when at the hospital. That was when I was diagnosed formally with PTSD.
Usually any graphic descriptions of sexual assault trigger me. While I was in the hospital a girl I met began describing her experience to me. I lost it in front of everyone. I began screaming and scratching myself. It went on for hours. The staff had me restrained. Fortunately all the staff was female and very sweet to me. As I was being restrained they told me they were all mothers and told me about their children. It calmed me so much. They then brought me soda and snacks with a blanket. I got to eat next to the nurse's station.
But, everyone was watching like it was an episode of Jerry Springer. It was as though it was entertainment and I felt so angry. It felt violating to be watched during such a vulnerable moment.
No one knew what I was going through. They spread a rumor in the unit that I was "split personality." That "my other personality" came out when I screamed.
I ended up apologizing to everyone in group therapy and telling people that I was a victim of abuse and relive my trauma vividly. Everyone felt bad and said sorry to me.
It's so embarrassing to have flashbacks in front of people. During them I don't even know who is around me until I calm down. But afterwards it feels quite awful.
Has anyone had this happen?
That must be very hard..
I dont have flashbacks like that...
Not to that extent.I completely get the feeling dirty thing though as I used to spend a very long time in the shower scrubbing my skin untul it wss beat red and sore...
I also used to have this weird (which I thought i might be the only one) buring sensation on my skin when I had the dirty feeling...i still do...I just have it much less often than I used to.
But it was so bad and painful that it literally felt like my skin was paper thin and would rip wide open if u ran a fingernail down it..
Thank god it doesnt happen so often anymore.
I am not able to wear jewelery, or use lotion and if I actually am dirty it is amplified a ton and I have to get clean...
But I do have flashbacks sometimes when I am with my boyfriend and we are being intimate. More specifically I have them when oral is involved...
I have puked on him a couple times
And I also have just an issue over all with oral things being hard on me...like I have allergies and mucas builds up in my nose and throat...
And for the entire day and night I sit and constantly gag and choke and cough up lugies trying desperately to get all the mucas un clogged...if I dont choke and try getting it out I will puke .
Its embarrassing.
Was going on all night tonight ...still is in fact im choking as I type this...with my bf sitting next to me...and i just want to cry because it is disgusting ...embarrassing and I know he hates it . He trys to be sympathetic but has often let me know its gross and I need to get it under control.
So I understand how u feel
:-(
I had a bunch, now none. I keep wondering when I will get more than little blips of new stuff.