You certainly have my vote, David. I try to carry the awareness that we all have vulnerable spots through every day of my life, buttttttaaaa. . . Alas, that remains more goal than achievement. It remains downright discouraging how often I am mean and callous without a mean intent or even an awareness in my heart. If I (the progenitor of "FF") have been callous, I am deeply sorry but still unaware of what I did. Please let give me the opportunity to make amends.

It grieves me that so few men feel comfortable here. There is an uncomfortable amount of male bashing that goes on here and. . . Ouch. . . It is my least favorite thing about DS PTSD. Personally, I believe effective and sustainable healing requires a balanced gender perspective.

As a woman who has spent most of her life as the only woman in any given room, I am still searching for ways around the gender blahs. Thank you for bringing it up so eloquently.

Healing happens. Hope it happens here.

I'm another man who posts here. I'm not great with people anyway so I try to be very careful to sound supportive when posting. I've had people be aggressive to me on another PTSD site and agree that we should try to be as kind and considerate to others as possible.

Big hug for you David... I think treating everyone as we want to be treated is always a good way to be in the world..... Well said....xo

You're a valuable member of the team David. There are always going to be people who generalise or lump all men or women in together. Let's hope they can evolve past that.

Sorry this has happen to you. The subject of male bashing has come up before and no one really seems to know how to deal with it. I have been thi king about this for awhile myself although I'm not male.
I think that it might work to each stand up to whatever we consider male bashing in a considerate was. It is one of the things that makes me uncomfortable and yet I can understand why it happens cause there are more woman here and the majority have probably been abused more by men. However it goes both ways. I hope we can come up with a solution that works for everyone cause I'd love to see more men come here myself.t

Thanks for being here, David. I guess it's a sign of our culture or something that you, Rizen, and I are it as far as males who are here regularly. It means a lot that I'm accepted by the women here, and it also means much to me not to be the only male. In a better world to come someday, probably when I'm not longer around, it won't be thus.

I understand the anger expressed here against men who have violated folks here because I was violated by men myself. My sexual assault as a kid was by a male adult perp. My father beat me at my mother's instigation "to make me a man" because I had been molested and somehow "infected" with sissiness. The left winger who hit my family's car with a Molotov cocktail bomb when I was nine was a man. The right wing officer who whose gun jammed when he pulled the trigger barrel against my temple was a man, too.

So I have been violated by men repeatedly. I know the anger folks here feel at being violated by men. By repeated experience, sexually, with fists, with bombs, with guns.

Yet I'm still alive. That's a miracle. And I find I'm alive as--of all things--a man myself.

For years I hated myself for being of the same gender as all of those violators. I considered carrying out self hatred to its final act. But I was not just a man, I was a person. My outrage toward those who molested, beat, bombed, and tried to shoot me was even greater than my own self hatred for being their same gender. So I stayed alive.

Now I know that I don't have to hate myself, or anyone, for being a man or a woman. It's not about who you are born as, it's about what you do after birth--and after coming near death at the hands of others.

You are very kind here, David. I know exactly how much you suffer daily, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Financially, maritally. I'm sorry if your being here adds to your suffering. Sometimes hurt people hurt people, and we are certainly hurt people here at DS PTSD. At least I am, speaking for myself. Seeking to heal, but qualifying to be here because I hurt first and foremost.

Thank you for all you've done to support me in my healing. It's been huge for me that you've understood how Uruguay was hell for me, where all of this PTSD started. And it's been huge for me, then, that you understand my returning to Uruguay every year. Overcoming fear now until I retire and die in Uruguay is my plan to come full circle for me.

It is my life's plan to bring my PTSD recovery to a positive conclusion, my personal revenge being to die peacefully where I grew up in war, hate, rape, violence, beatings, and attempts to murder me. You have always understood that here so clearly I feel validated in my PTSD recovery like nowhere else except my own therapist's office.

I apologize for your being hurt by anyone here, because you have been so supportive of my healing. And I know I'm not the only one who has received that kind of generous support from you. Others have, too. So I want to pledge you my support in return for as long as you want to be here. Thank you for speaking up so I could offer it back to you as you've given it to others. Much support to you, amigo.

My husband has taught me there are good guys out there. Keep doing what your doing-we all have FF days. Man or woman.

I want to say that I saw a recent post where the person seemed to take great offense at your comment, which to my eyes was an effort to be helpful to that person. I couldn't understand her reaction and wasn't sure what to do ... I wish I had reached out to let you know that I saw no harm in what you had posted. I have always found you to be extremely gentle, reasonable, respectful and restrained.

I thought of making a post about how DS has changed my view of men and women and victimization. On the one hand there is the idea of men as abusers, but just as poisonous in my life has been the idea that women are victims. Even before I came on DS I learned that men could be kind, strong, gentle, and healing. But learning that there are so many male victims has been a huge revelation to me. It's a big topic which I may open up for discussion one of these days - for now, just want to say I'm sorry if you and the other good men on here have taken flack for being men. That's kind of a double kick in the pants - being hurt by men yourselves, and then being punished for being a man,too.

Nice post David, glad you shared with us. I am triggered by both males and females. I have also felt very calm and safe with both males and females. I judge by the feeling I get intuitively around people. Both men and women can be creepy or kind and fun. Same goes for colour, I judge but the insides as I don't care about someones colour or race it is just too meaningless.

I am rambling, sorry. I like that there is both male and female here on PTSD post. Honestly, sometimes I don't know who is who and really don't think about it.

I find "people" here are very supportive and they have helped me so much and made me feel validated. I feel it is an awesome group!!!!

Me likey:-)

I hope that I have not contributed to any anti-male sentiment. We are all human, ergo all able to be hurt, and it's not easy no matter one's chromosomes. I do try to be specific that the male in question I despise is the individual (my dad, for example) rather than "men as a whole". For one thing, women trigger me worse than men do, and I will be more careful of what and how I post.

Healing hopes to us all.