I have envied alcoholics quite often in my life for the ease with which they can crawl into a bottle and pull the cork tight behind them. I have even be tried to "learn how to hold my liquor," just to give it a try. Sigh. I can't even accomplish being a decent drunk. . . Does I really I gots to remember this crap stone, cold sober?

Been a while since I have envied them, though. I doesn't know, but I am beginning to believe that healing is a far greater relief than crawling into a bottle. The filthy memories are still there, but they no longer have the power to cripple me.

Hope you find your relief, Sassy.

The alcohol might deaden the feelings temporarily but as I'm sure you already know those feelings come back with a vengeance when you sober up and then they are doubly triply and quadruply even more difficult to deal with. As I found out the hard way just recently the only way out is truly through. Keep coming here to talk to us while you're doing that. We've got your back.

Hugs

Manda xx

I have felt the same way many times. One thing I've always hated is when people tell me to be patient because I have little to no patience and when I am really down in the depths every moment can feel like torture. Maybe you already know this, but alcohol actually is a depressant. As in, it makes depression worse. Are you in talk therapy or do you take other meds? These tools help me a lot. Though I still have down moments I snap out of them more easily. There may also be support groups available near where you live; your public library may have a list of them. I am very sorry for your pain, especially having felt this way myself. I hope you find the right tools that work for you. No one ever drank their way to happiness. I'll pray for you.

I hope you feel better.

I have often wanted to let myself slide into the abyss.... Much symapthy to you, and... I gotta gree, as a chlid of a bunch of addicts on my dad's side and alcoholic mom to boot. Nobody drank or drugged their way to contentment. They ran from fear or pain for a little while, but it was always waiting. Therapy's tough stuff.... I hate how looooong it's taking.... but I agree with above. Keep trying tools tha tdon't hurt you, okay? You are worth it.

I am sorry you feel that way. Focus your mind on things that are good. Turn to a person that will help you see a better perspective. Put yourself around people who celebrate you. Validate yourself. Believe in Yourself. If you aren't already, please see a counselor who can help you, as well

Thank you everyone for your support