Hi,
You dont have to talk to him or do anything with him.

I cut off all ties with my dad many years ago so I really have no idea how a situation like this would feel. I do have an abusive ex who causes similar feelings though. Is there any chance that you can just get out of seeing him? I think that would be the ideal thing for you to be honest.

well i sorta invited him because there are two sisters involved that i havent seen for awhile, i think of them. and i think if i just face the fear then maybe it will make me stronger.

also we are meeting in a public place surrounded by my other family especially my boyfriend. this may work out.

lol i guess u could call this self talk, im self talking myself. if it dont work out i can just get up and walk away

Self talk is good....and I definitely agree that an "escape" plan is good. It is not healthy for you to keep yourself in a high stress situation.

I am not a supporter of "facing the fear" to make you stronger, but wish you luck.

Just rember where here all of us i be thinking and praying for you hugs Minnie he knows what he did.I do not like my real father he was abusive in many ways,I told him never to contact me again,
my step dad was a good guy i was lucky there, you do not have
put up with him,hugs minnie

Ditto on the we are here hmfeather!

the visit actually went alot better than expected but i do tend to worry about the worst. my dad is a very intimidating person, at least he use to be, when i saw him this time it was like a totally different dad.
he's sickly now with diabetes so alot of that intimidation is gone. hes got two new little girls now and they are just the cutest thing.
sometimes i watched how he treated them, well it was a lot better than he use to treat us, i tried not letting that get to me, but it did bring a little back and i almost wanted to feel jealousy for my new sisters, it was hard to hold it back.
But i did it.

I agree with the one down below, this is a fear that is something you don't have to walk through. Getting on an airplane would be an example.

I have several perp's in my life, and my brother is one of them. I con't even look at his picture. I have, nor want nothing to do with him. That is not to say that at times there is not something that will happen, and I will think of a good time in family, very rare, and I think maybe, then I camoe to my senses.

If you had a little girl would you let her be near him? That's how we learn to treat ourselves!!! You can always cancel, nothing is in concrete, or you can even just not show up, call your sisters, and just talk to them. I just hate seeing you put yourself through such a horrible situation, you already had to live it, why relive it?

Your Loved,
Debbie