Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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This may possibly contain triggers..
I don't know if I should really discuss this here, I really don't know where else to turn to.
For quite a while now, and this has been off and on, I have been having a lot of issues with being anywhere near intimate with my husband... and it's not just him, it's been with everybody.
I really hate talking about this, as I feel its embarrassing and I feel quite ashamed in a way. Towards myself anyway.
I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do, I feel as if I lack normality. And I realize a lot of survivors of incest go through this... I didn't know if anyone found a way past this. I still haven't, as much as I try to block things out while we are together.
It makes me horrible, because now he thinks there is somebody else or that I am totally not interested in being with him anymore.
I can understand his frustration, but I don't believe he fully understands mine.
This is really hard to talk about.
I know he tries, but he hasn't gone through it, so he can't fully grasp it.
He says, well forget the past. So I tell him, look, something like this sticks with you... It's emotionally scarring.
I want to wrap myself in a blanket right now and just cry.
I don't see a therapist right now so I really don't know what to do... how to condition myself to where I can let myself know that I am not going to be harmed by him.
But every time I feel pressured. And it's not like he pressures me.
I just feel so stuck. Lost.
I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to post anything like this, again, I don't what else to do at this point... and I'm just looking for any bit of hope left for me.
Thank you.
I don't know if I should really discuss this here, I really don't know where else to turn to.
For quite a while now, and this has been off and on, I have been having a lot of issues with being anywhere near intimate with my husband... and it's not just him, it's been with everybody.
I really hate talking about this, as I feel its embarrassing and I feel quite ashamed in a way. Towards myself anyway.
I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do, I feel as if I lack normality. And I realize a lot of survivors of incest go through this... I didn't know if anyone found a way past this. I still haven't, as much as I try to block things out while we are together.
It makes me horrible, because now he thinks there is somebody else or that I am totally not interested in being with him anymore.
I can understand his frustration, but I don't believe he fully understands mine.
This is really hard to talk about.
I know he tries, but he hasn't gone through it, so he can't fully grasp it.
He says, well forget the past. So I tell him, look, something like this sticks with you... It's emotionally scarring.
I want to wrap myself in a blanket right now and just cry.
I don't see a therapist right now so I really don't know what to do... how to condition myself to where I can let myself know that I am not going to be harmed by him.
But every time I feel pressured. And it's not like he pressures me.
I just feel so stuck. Lost.
I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to post anything like this, again, I don't what else to do at this point... and I'm just looking for any bit of hope left for me.
Thank you.
Have you considered couples therapy? It might help to have someone there to help you guys talk to each other about how you're feeling about all of this.
We were going to marriage counseling earlier in the year which seemed to really help, then we stopped going :/ So I will work on finding another counselor :)
My PTSD is not from sexual abuse, but I had a girlfriend that had been raped multiple times and she had PTSD as a result. We had looked at couples counseling and I think it would have helped, but she also suffered from manic depression and had a lot of other issues constantly coming up, so I couldn't handle it on top of my issues. Long and short, it sounds like you have a great husband that wants to be there and you two getting counseling together on how to handle it I think is a great idea.
Best wishes...
I know as long as I get the same in return, showing the understanding is easy, it's when it's not mutual that I have a hard time with it.
I hope all goes well with your counseling...
Back when I was in "relationships" (very unhealthy ones anyway), I would sometimes suddenly get very scared during intimate moments and just completely shut down and sometimes cry, without knowing why.
Now I'm afraid my fears are so great that I'll never be in a relationship.