Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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In the grips of a PTSD flashback, I am verily incapable of remaining aware of the here and now. A typical scenario is where someone in the here and now reminds me of a trauma perpetrator from my past. One of my recurring bad girls has been the sibling I often call, "Pimp Sis" in my therapy journal. She is an elder sibling who is now around 70 years old. She was a young teenager when she realized people would pay good money for some private time with any of her 8 younger siblings. Daddy had educated her well on how to turn such profit with her own body. By nature, she is both creative and entrepreneurial. By nurture? ? ? We shared entirely too many traumas in the travelling freak show we were born into. Daddy's "Sex Education" was not the least of those traumas.
The actual person I call, "Pimp Sis" has not been an active part of my daily life since the middle to late 60's when we each drifted off to different throw-away kid camps. She has ridden tornadoes into my life on several occasions. At the prompting of my best beloved sis, I attempted a purely social visit with Pimp Sis in 1999. I bet you already guessed how that visit ended. We have not spoken nor written since.
But I still mentally argue with her on a routine basis. I have since forever. I believe that is even typical of sibling relationships, good, bad or indifferent. I see her continually in members of my therapy support network. It doesn't take much to trigger a trauma flashback starring you know who. Once that trauma flashback is triggered I believe I am arguing with Pimp Sis far more than I am listening to my sister-in-healing. If I attempt to continue listening to my sister-in-healing while in the throes of a flashback with Pimp Sis, it is all too easy to make false accusations in the here and now.
Am I making sense? It feels like an important awareness in managing my PTSD, but? ? ? Ya know, ya know. . . Reality checks requested.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
hugs xxx want some puppy Pip snuggles? she’s driving me crazy this morning. stole a baseball cap and tore it to bits. oye back in the crate she goes. unwind little one.
Posilutely I want some Pip snuggles. I miss Persilly more than I can say and am giving serious thought to getting another puppy sometime soon and maybe a kitten that I can raise to be unnatural friends with the new puppy. Babies are a pain, no matter how many feet they have, but those baby snuggles are worth the pain, chewed up baseball caps, shredded curtains and all. Persilly loved shoe chewing when she was teething. I still haven't done spectacularly well with cats, though. Cats know a canine spirit when they see one. Guilty as charged. . .
i’m sure she would love a good snuggle up next to you!
Don't forget that teething pains are a real problem in growing babies. Give her something it is okay to chew on while she is in her crate for chewing not okay stuff.
When people remind me of my late sis ----- and I include myelf, we were siblings, after all ---- my best reaction so far is to freak out, cry, and seek reassurance I am not THAT.
but every flaw I own seems to pale compared to the ones she pointed out in me. I would love to not have her words in my head, so I could argue with someone else for a while.
My mama drama has brought up a lot of this for me. I can't say I undrestand, just that.... Puma healing hopes to you, and soothing far-wide vistas.
Humans are complex critters with complex and unpredictable cognitive functions. None of us are pure anything.
Nor is your silence requested. If I required (or could gain) silence from everybody who inadvertently reminds me of my large and over-sexed rainbow clan, whether by words, deeds or DNA, all seven continents be very quiet places. I hail from a VERY big and diverse clan. WE'RE EVERYWHERE! ! ! WE'RE EVERYWHERE! ! !
Nor do I remember which of her causes you inadvertently championed. She always had something to put starch in her super cape. After I do my therapy exercises to separate the trigger from the trauma, I seldom remember the precise trigger of the episode. Nor do I hold it as important. Reminders happen. Hold to the healing course.
Thank you for letting me know the initial post made sense. The focus is not on the one, particular sister. She is far from the only puppet in my flashback freak show. I have 5 sisters and 5 brothers. Each of them is unique and complex in real time. None of them are responsible for **my** flashbacks nor the winding course they take through my head. They are even less responsible for the harm which happens as the VR of my flashbacks interact with my Real Time realities.
It be the mechanics of my flashbacks I be reaching for. Ways to manage those mechanics and interactions.
Most of my recent Pimp Sis flashbacks have been triggered by my growing farm life. By personal desire and nature, plant and animal husbandry would have been her natural entrepreneurial niche.
By nurture? ? ? Ouch. . . NFF! ! ! No Fucking Fair! ! !