Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Talked about my family in therapy and realized a lot of my resentment towards men comes from resentment towards me oldest brother, my mom's favorite and my uncle's "preferred" victim. My brother bullied me. He obsessively fixed his hair in our one bathroom for hours. I was forced by my mother to pee in a cup because I wasn't allowed to disturb me brother's hair process or he would start to scream at me. This was just business as usual for my family.
All my humiliation seems so pointless.
A dance teacher friend had been inviting me to a west coast swing class at a brewery. I enjoyed dancing itself, but being close to another person and dealing with the eye contact discomfort was scary. I know I can't make partner dancing a part of my life, but I was disappointed that it was worse than I thought. My uncle pinned me to a bed post in a standing up position for probably several minutes when he assaulted me and I guess that's what makes dancing so scary. I thought I would be better since my hormones are normal now, but it's not much different.
Also uncomfortable because a woman that is involved with the dance instructor's llama farm was there. Just feel upset seeing her; she probably doesn't know anything. I picked the opposite class as her. I guess I'm not going back, or at least not for a while, and I feel sad because I like west coast swing and the brewery.
I know it's not the end of the world, but it reminds me that I still have issues with trauma.
All my humiliation seems so pointless.
A dance teacher friend had been inviting me to a west coast swing class at a brewery. I enjoyed dancing itself, but being close to another person and dealing with the eye contact discomfort was scary. I know I can't make partner dancing a part of my life, but I was disappointed that it was worse than I thought. My uncle pinned me to a bed post in a standing up position for probably several minutes when he assaulted me and I guess that's what makes dancing so scary. I thought I would be better since my hormones are normal now, but it's not much different.
Also uncomfortable because a woman that is involved with the dance instructor's llama farm was there. Just feel upset seeing her; she probably doesn't know anything. I picked the opposite class as her. I guess I'm not going back, or at least not for a while, and I feel sad because I like west coast swing and the brewery.
I know it's not the end of the world, but it reminds me that I still have issues with trauma.
Anything to avoid making Dad upset, that was our rule, and at quite some cost. Ugh. Soft support, dsf.
TW
In the dynamics in the home, where my father beat me with his fists when I was a kid half his size. Where my mom blamed me, the victim, for "getting" molested when I came to her for help after being subjected to sexual assault by a bully pedophile who attacked a whole group of kids. My sister went on to marry a bully, and celebrated his bullying others until, predictably, he turned on her, too.
In their choices outside the home my family preferred bullies, too. As missionaries, they chose to live in 3 war zones. They enjoyed hiding in the chaos, but they also took the side of the bully in each of those conflicts until they were finally deported as persona non grata.
What is it in the psychology of some people that they not only tolerate bullying, but actually celebrate it? Are they any studies of that?
or maybe your husband would go with you??? there would be a dance partner you could bond with.
please take what may help and toss the rest - what I add these days to posts leaves me worried to add. I do care though, hugs
I hate that any of us had to live through what we did, but we are here and that shows we survived it.
If you really love dancing, then it will be worth the work to figure these triggers out.
support as you do.
J.