if i cared to do the research and math, i believe i would discover that the vast majority of my therapy support network has voted for me to find a divorce lawyer for the too-perfect-for-therapy man a married. increasing social distance from him has been enough for me for handling these unbearable phases of our 43 year relationship, mostly because i don't like lawyers. i don't see myself remarrying and i don't much care what the courthouse paperwork says about me. with the safer social distances between us, we were able to work out new steps to the dreary dance that had friends referring us to divorce lawyers. we were able to continue working together on parenting, estate building and the mysteries of conjugal love. over the course of those processes we came to call our matrimonial conflicts, "the egg shell waltz." some of the new steps in our egg shell waltz are pretty nifty. we still step on one another's toes quite often, but? ? ? practice, practice, practice. we may need another 43 years to work out all the new steps.

hubs and i have had different addresses for quite a few of the 43 years we have known one another. those addresses were in different states at the beginning of the current trail of tears in 2018. we were in adamant agreement that our 3 gk's needed to be rescued from the foster care system into which they had been thrust. the politics of that system made it wiser for me to leave my beloved river region and return to the dust bowl state. in august, 2019 the custody of the children was granted to us. we were granted managerial guardianship nearly a year after the traffic death of their parents in september 2019. it was a blessing that most of those court hearings were virtual and many of the initial court requirements were covidically dropped.

fast forward to 2023 and our little ship of fools has stabilized far enough that old fears and habits are reemerging. hubs and i have been triggering into tit for tat skirmishes more often since the start of soccer season for three children gave us a gnarly spike in scheduling and stress. still, methinks i see progress in our new steps to the egg shell waltz which previously kept those tit for tat skirmishes going for months on end. in the theory of progress over perfection, methinks we are still holding steady, despite the uncomfortable moments.

reality checks and advice requested. am i making sense? am i on to something or should i be lawyer shopping?

again i leave the mood icon on the rapid cycling median. feeling crazier than usual today, but need to hold steady for the two soccer games today.