Big hug for you Grace..... I hope that you will reach out if you need some help..... You are right support from strangers can be helpful however we often need more then that.... I will give you a list of crisis resources...xo

https://support.dailystrength.org/hc/en-us/articles/207430776-What-if-I-need-emergency-help-

I feel the same way exactly. I feel stuck in this life, but I got to push thru it for my youngest daughter. She's 8 years old and idk what I would do if it wasn't for her. I pray all the time to make it one more minute, one more hour, one more day! It's a constant struggle! If u need a friend or just someone that's at or near the same point as you please message me anytime.

I care.

Gentle hugs to you.

HEART OUT TO YOU. I know it is tough and so hard but you can do it; it gets a bit better or sucks less some days or moments.Love, peace and compassion you way. Renee

Please know I understand how you feel. An important thing to remember is you’re not alone, and everyone, at some point in time, will go through life dealing with difficult circumstances; all of us are broken. But we can help each other by sharing what we’ve come to learn as we have gone through those circumstances; instead of trying to find a way out. When you learn you are loved, just as you are now, you will begin to understand life is not supposed to be lived in chaos and uncertainty. Our lives can be filled with hope along with help needed to get through difficult times. It’s not a hope defined as wishful thinking, but hope defined and found only in our Creator. This Hope is available to all of us, and it's a choice only you can make.

I understand how you feel, too, especially when you say the abandonment and betrayal is too much. When I came here I was introduced to Pete Walker's website and I go back to it all the time. There he says "Chronic emotional abandonment is one of the worst things that can happen to a child. It naturally makes her feel and appear deadened and depressed." Deadened, it's what abandonment makes us all feel. You're not alone. Here's how some of us manage it.

http://www.pete-walker.com/managingAbandonDepression.htm