Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Hi All -
Six years ago I delt with flashbacks focused on the physical abuse I suffered as a child. I was usually at work, in my office, alone. If it happened outside of work, it only happened when I was home alone. I didn't seek therapy as I felt I could deal with it myself.
Six years later, I'm newly in therapy and dealing with a different set of flashbacks. These involve the sexual abuse that I was victim to as a child. These flashbacks/memories are much, much, much worse.
Here's my question; when I "remember" now I go into this odd high-energy zone. I usually get very cold, my teeth chatter, legs shake and arms twitch. My breathing is rapid and I repeat things over and over - but usually only one or two words. It's like someone else is controlling my body. My mind is 100% there, but I can't stop all of the shaking, bouncing, twitching and whatever else happens.
I haven't been going out very much because I'm afraid it'll happen in public. I was in a store today (had to go) and I felt it coming on (all my muscles get really tense first). I left without getting what I needed, as I didn't want to draw any attention to myself.
Is this normal? I know I should ask my therapist but I don't trust him yet.
Thanks for your feedback, it's appreciated.
Six years ago I delt with flashbacks focused on the physical abuse I suffered as a child. I was usually at work, in my office, alone. If it happened outside of work, it only happened when I was home alone. I didn't seek therapy as I felt I could deal with it myself.
Six years later, I'm newly in therapy and dealing with a different set of flashbacks. These involve the sexual abuse that I was victim to as a child. These flashbacks/memories are much, much, much worse.
Here's my question; when I "remember" now I go into this odd high-energy zone. I usually get very cold, my teeth chatter, legs shake and arms twitch. My breathing is rapid and I repeat things over and over - but usually only one or two words. It's like someone else is controlling my body. My mind is 100% there, but I can't stop all of the shaking, bouncing, twitching and whatever else happens.
I haven't been going out very much because I'm afraid it'll happen in public. I was in a store today (had to go) and I felt it coming on (all my muscles get really tense first). I left without getting what I needed, as I didn't want to draw any attention to myself.
Is this normal? I know I should ask my therapist but I don't trust him yet.
Thanks for your feedback, it's appreciated.
If your therapist has diagnosed you with PTSD, he is very likely capable of helping you through this. If your therapist is not in agreement that what you have is PTSD, then you need to find a new one. If the flashbacks and results of them are severe and frequent enough, you may also benefit from some inpatient treatment, especially if you are having as much trouble dealing with them as you appear to. It will also help to find the right mix of meds to help you deal with the depression and anxiety. I am convinced that flashbacks come about because of the anxiety associated with PTSD, and that the anxiety can be even more problematic from a physical and emotional standpoint than even depression. (This is a "lay" person's view based upon her personal experience, not necessarily the view of the medical community).
Bottom line is that you need the help of a therapist who is well versed in PTSD. Your insurance doctor's lookup can help you find one if your current therapist does not work out. Please seek help for these and soon. It sounds like they are getting worse, and you need to address them before they completely take over your life.
Does that sound like it makes sense in your case, too?
Try not getting down on your self about it. You are working to change things and I'll bet something good and grand will come of it. If you feel you can not go certain places then do not. But,, continue to council whether it is the current councilor or a new one...hang in there, people can help.
Your therapist is giving you all the choices he can and he knows that you are finding it difficult to talk to him,possibly because of your abuser being male.
If he can reccommend a female therapist who you could talk to it will help.
You have come a long way and he does not want to slow down your progress.
Good Luck
Also sounds like you are full of catecholamines (legs shake and arms twitch, My breathing is rapid, high-energy, the shaking, bouncing, twitching and whatever else happens). Watch, you are probably also sweating.
Okay, all the stuff I am bumping up for BryceLev, I am also bumping up for you. READ EACH ONE, okay?
Print them out with the comments and then you can go through it at whatever pace works.
Totally normal for PTSD to lead to agoraphobia (being housebound) because of not wanting to have an attack in public.
To keep that from becoming permanent and/or to slow down it's progress, you NEED to put in some important fixes right away. I suggest service dog and propranolol at the top of your list.
Also, read the Med Ideas & Why and check the meds you have. We can check the pharmacology to see if they are exacerbating your PTSD by releasing catecholamines. FYI - increased serotonin has been shown to increase the neuropinephrine which is a fight-or-flight chemical (aka catecholamine).