Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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the toxic mom throne is in the process of being reduced to a piece of real estate with a hot zip code. the clean out crew has been working hard since last week. 3 dumpster loads later, they are nearly ready to hand the project over to the painter/handyman. the realator lock box is already on the front door.
when did i begin detaching from the toxic mom throne? methinks it was around the time the bubbleheaded bleach blonde made the "toxic people" fad a mainstream darling with her bestseller book in the mid 90's. my estranged son was in the process of dropping out of high school then and it is probable he picked up on the toxic people fad in it's earliest rounds. his rat sass was pretty intense by then and true to the nature of rat sass, chockful of creative/slang insults. i wouldn't have noticed yet another. it wasn't until we moved from the house he was raised in that the toxic mom honors from a 30something man sank in and i began thinking of the new house as, "the toxic mom throne." this would have been around 2016. my preference would have been to sell the place and invest the proceeds in a less inflated zip code, but hubby wasn't ready, so i detached further.
he's ready now and the works are in progress. as i continue processing the grief of the family tragedies which took place there, i find myself with a profound sense of relief and wandering wonders this is, "closure." what are the diffs between detachment and closure?
thoughts? unsolicited advice?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Not everything is healed for me but I haven't had much therapy and no trauma therapy.. That's come down to the almighty buck
I hope that this move will be a good thing for you sweetie... I know that you work very hard on improving your wellbeing and a home/place could certainly be a trigger for painful memories
I hope that this will be a big help for you... Big squishy hug.. xo
luckily, there is no moving involved. just cleanup and disposal. i haven't lived in that house since 2013. my visits there have been routinely unpleasant. life is so much simpler in the toxic people landfill. non-toxic people are too ? ? ? perfect ? ? ? for my toxified brain.
As to your serious question, though, upon reflection just speaking for myself in my case the difference between detachment and closure was huge. Detachment for me was a spiritual and mental exercise that, upon my PTSD psychiatrist's advice, I achieved detachment by attending a meditation group weekly at the same time I began my weekly appointments with my therapist.
After 5 years of that mental and spiritual preparation through meditative detachment I was in shape so as to follow through with closure as the physical work of going back to where I was a missionary kid in high school during years of combat overseas. My US college roommate went with me as support because he knew me when I got out of that war zone and came to the US as a college freshman. He took my photo in each place where I physically stood on the spot where a combat trauma had happened to me. It was really healing for me.
I don't know if my story may help anyone else, but a lot of therapy thought when into the difference between detachment and closure for my PTSD recovery so I figured I'd share it even if it only speaks for myself. Thanks again for bringing up a chance for good recovery reflection.
most excellent example of the diff. thank you. i remember your closure journey well and it is, indeed, an inspiring tale. enough so that i felt a bit disappointed when you retired to mexico rather than uruguay. just a bit. i feel a bit jaded toward mexico because i live so close to the border. we have more in common with mexico than washington, d.c.