Big hugs Marah. I'm sorry you're struggling so right now.

Good for you for working so hard to model a good relationship with food for your child to see. You are helping her grow up healthy and avoid your struggles.
That is so awesome.

I know it feels scary and I understand, I wouldn't want to discuss my relationship with my son's father with a male therapist either. Technically for the therapist it should be no problem to hear you out and support you as you deal with the situation. I would just start by saying something like, " there's a problem and I hesitate to bring it up because _____ (I don't want you to take his side, or whatever your fear is), but I'm having a really important problem (etc) with my daughter's dad........". If your counselor is experienced enough he should be able and willing to support you through it, if not maybe request someone else.

Good for you for all the work you are doing to address these situations.

Hugs and peace and many supportive thoughts.

I know you're disappointed with yourself for purging, Marah. I'm dealing with food issues, too, trying to maintain healthy habits to avoid having to have a second weight loss surgery because I know someone who did. I eat when I'm depressed to fill the empty void, I eat when I'm anxious, I have a lot of food issues related to my mental health ups and downs, too. Let's give ourselves room for progress without perfection, what do you say?

As for the gender of a therapist, that mattered to me, too. The therapist who first diagnosed me with PTSD in 1995 was female, and so I'll always be indebted to her. But for some reason, for 12 years of weekly therapy with her I held back telling her about my most significant initial trauma, the car bombing I survived as a missionary kid when I was 9.

I can't explain why I opened up about that for the first time when I had to get a new therapist because I moved to another state for a new job. That new therapist happened to be male and worked by day with mostly male clients at the VA. They were mostly soldiers with PTSD from combat in Iraq, and after the US invasion of Iraq in 2003 there were years of terrorist uses of Improvised Explosive Devices like the one that hit my car that were used against occupying US troops.

One day after holding my tongue in weekly therapy for 12 years about it, I mentioned that happened to me, too. Suddenly my initial PTSD trauma was out there for us to process in therapy for the first time. In 2 years I was not only able to talk about that car bombing without being triggered, I was able to do the exposure therapy of going abroad back to the street corner where the car bombing happened so I could heal from it. That step led me to the next step of coming here to this DS PTSD support group where I can be open about that and other traumas that gave me PTSD.

I don't know how much the gender of my therapist made a difference, but there was a gender change in moving from one therapist to another, so I say whatever works. Even if you don't change therapists permanently maybe you could see one of a different gender temporarily or for certain topics as fits your recovery needs, Marah. It's ok to find what works for you.

Big hug for you sweetie.... I am really sorry that you're having a tough time.... Deep breaths.... I hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day.....

If you aren't okay with your therapist being a male I would ask to be referred to a female therapist..

I think this would be a fairly common practice.... You want to be comfortable with your therapist.... xo