It's rough arfie, I know. The holidays are rough enough but if that is anniversary it can get so very painful quickly. I haven't celebrated a Thanksgiving or a Christmas since, although I did sit down twice to somebody else's celebration just long enough to reassure them that I was fine and that everything was going to be okay. This will make the 6th year now I think.

I Hope you find some peace and comfort and please know, you aren't alone.

Ditto arfie,

Have tried making new traditions about how to celebrate, but for last couple years find it easier to make Xmas etc. non events. It's a good time to travel to a non-festive location. No jingle bells at the beach...

I don't think misery needs to be memorialized.

Christmas was a terrible time in our house growing up. I've found that finding joy in other ways during the season really helps. I love the lights and greenery. I hate decorating so leave that to my son who does a very sloppy job of it, which I find endearing and therapeutic.

I hate the crush of holiday shopping so I find other ways to find gifts so that it'll be enjoyable. Homemade or little boutiques, sometimes just nice expensive tea or chocolates from the fancy health food store.

Taking walks in the woods looking for bright red berries against the snow and watching the cardinals and chickadees flit about seems like a special private Christmas celebration to me. Sometimes these moments are the best of the season.

Yeah, twice as an adult I've had to withdraw from participating with my domestically violent family, a violent one ever since I was a child. I'm currently in such a period because my 80 year old dad punched me yet again Christmas 2 years ago after 3 days of non-stop verbal abuse at ever meal.

I tend to believe people misbehave in that way because, bad as it is, there's still some pay-off for them. All I can imagine is that, ugly as it is for my family members to ruin Christmas, it helps them avoid something even uglier in them that comes up at times like that.

I made plans to be with friends for Thanksgiving, but I'll be on my own this Christmas. I've made plans to travel to a nice big city near by, stay in a hotel, enjoy the big city Christmas lights and decorations in anonymity, and pamper myself. I'll be here chatting on that day, too, to be sure.